I recently had my fiancee tell me that he may have a child by a woman he loved 6 years ago. will we last if this child is his.?

Question

She still loves him and I don't know if he still loves her. He will be going to see this child where they live and I think he will be going alone. We are supposed to get married in three months and now IM kinda scared that's not going to happen. Any thoughts. Oh and they have been talking for the last 7 months and I just found out.

Answer 1

The only thing you posted that made me worry about your relationship is the fact he's been talking to her for seven months without your knowing it.



If I were you I'd tread this very carefully. To be honest, I don't think he should be going to meet this child alone. After all, you two are a team. They conceived this child alone, but you three will be raising it together. He needs to make sure the ex understands you're part of the equation. Granted, you don't need to be a vocal member, but your presence should be known.



And then, after you guys get to know this child and get an idea of what that will mean in your life, then you need to sit down and have a heart-to-heart with your man. Give him room to figure things out, but also make sure he knows that now is the time he needs to speak up and be straight with you about this ex girlfriend thing. And if there's any hesitation on his part, then postpone the wedding.

Answer 2

time to post pone the wedding and take on a wait and see posture. This is a very new situation and it could very well change everything. will it work out with you two. That would be up to you.Can you handle your husband having an outside child and contact with the mother of that child that has made it known that she still loves him? Will the child pull them back together? Who knows but better to wait and see if it happens than to marry now and then have it happen. This is very serious and the many issues that must come up will not go away at all until that child is grown and perhaps beyond. You will be step mother to this child. It is a lot to consider. Work it all out now before you say I Do. Be very clear what you will be agreeing to take on. The child, the mother and the situation is not going to go away. Do you want to be a part of this mix?

Answer 3

He has other things on his mind besides the wedding. Get that clear, because it IS important that he try to be in this child's life if the child is in fact his. If you're doubting whether he has feelings for the other woman or not, you have no business getting married. It's not the end of the world. Give him time.

Answer 4

If you go ahead and marry this guy, you are the biggest fool I have come across today.



Oh, and a fiancée is a girl. Get an education.

Answer 5

Think about it. You can offer this man a fresh start but he can't offer you the same in return. You deserve better. You don't need to deal with some kid that's the product of him getting his groove thing on with another woman. That's yucky. Dump this looser and move on.

Answer 6

This is no time to plan a wedding. You need to break the engagement and tell him to find out if he is the father through testing and make his decision about what he plans to do. If you feel this level of concern, you already know the truth. Meanwhile, I am sure this is a stressful and disappointing situation for you but the fact is you cannot allow any relationship to place conditions on your own fulfillment and wellbeing in life. If the other person is not clearly with you and unfettered from other obligations, a marriage is inappropriate no matter how much you feel in love. That chemistry will pass when there is no respectful commitment to growth behind it. I am sorry to be so blunt and do not mean to cause pain. Whatever you do, stay true to yourself. Even in the best marriage each person has to do so or it will be no more than a legally bound dependency. And those tend to progress very badly. At least now you still have your life.

Answer 7

If DNA testing is done, then the truth about the child would be settled, if you love him and he loves you, a child from someone else should not matter.

Answer 8

This other child has NOTHING to do with the two of you now. This was in his past and does not effect the feelings you have for each other.



If you are going to let a child change how you feel about him, then he isn't the one for you and you should move on and let him find someone who accepts him for who he is now.

Answer 9

If she's hot. Watch out.

Answer 10

well that let us know how much you really loved him!!! What ever happen to supporting your man?? Where you with him 6 years ago?? This is why marriage is a joke!!! All you women really want is a ring!! You know NOTHING about love!! If he has a child with her, he has to talk to her!! He probably knew you are shallow and do not really love him so he hid it from you as long as he could because worthless women like you do not support your men anymore!! You just move on to get used by the next guy!!

Answer 11

Let him alone let him to take care of his child the child is first you are second he shiould keep his noney to give it to his child and avoid stupid wedding that probably will not last long.