My Husband Is So Insensitive And Only Considers Fixing Problems When His Family Is Involved?

Question

I've been on a really strict diet (Hcg) since christmas and its sort of taking its toll on me. I'm not going to quit just yet, it's just mentally taken the life out of me not being able to eat what I want and I'm weak from it as well. I only have til the beginning of Feb and I'm off it. I broke down last night to my husband, saying this was my lowest day yet since starting it and I just need some reassurance and someone to listen. He did for a bit until I calmed down, then put on the Matrix. This is how it always happens, I cry, he listens for 5 minutes, then pretends like it never happened and I do as well to avoid a fight.

Well his parents always get mad because we never drive 3 hours to see them. They never make the effort to come see us, ever. Well his mom is self employed and hasn't been getting ANY customers so she's coming to our city do do a course and needs somewhere to stay. Since we're the only ones in this city she can ask, she came straight to my husband. I would be fine with it to a point, but I'm resentful that she's only up visiting because she just happens to be up here, not because she wanted to come see us.

On top of that, she's over bearing, I have no energy to deal with her. She wakes us up early in the morning when we're down visiting them, wanting to go on walks and other stuff, and I physically can't do that on the diet I'm on right now. I've been advised no exercise. Well I would love to come clean and tell her what diet I'm doing, but then I'd get an ear full of her suggestions and opinions and I don't want to hear it.

I told my husband I can't do it. I just can't mentally or physically handle her right now. He says I hate his family, that's not true, I just can't tollerate them sometimes. I told him if she comes up, the only way I can deal with her is to quit the diet. I desperately need to lose 80lbs and I've given up countless times before, but I just can't this time. He says I was planning on quitting the whole time anyway.

He never supports me, ever, that's why I've given up on countless other diets. Now I finally don't need his support, I have enough will power to do this myself and he's still finding a way to drag me down it feels like.

He came home today trying to be all nice and kissed my *** and I knew it was only because of his mom. He doesn't want them knowing we have any issues, only to make them think we're perfect. His parents have said they wanted to get divorced over and over and always end up back together. I can't take this.

What do I do??? I feel resentful and annoyed by this whole situation. Don't tell me to eat healthy and exercise, tried that, it doesn't work, not for me. I just want advice on the situation with my husband and his mom.

Thanks

Answer 1

I just looked up the hCG diet. You're ingesting pregnancy hormones, which is why you're having these mood swings. I guarantee that what you're experiencing is NOT as bad as you think it is. Wait until you're off the stuff and I bet things really start to look up.



On the other hand, you have to make sure that when there's an argument or an issue between you and your husband, that it is completely resolved, otherwise it will keep coming back to haunt you. You have to explain to your husband that it's important that he listen to you, otherwise your feelings are not validated, and a relationship like that can't and won't last.



Finally, talk to your mother-in-law YOURSELF and explain that you're not feeling well and why. Tell her it's nothing personal. Just be adult about it and confront the issue, otherwise it'll just be hanging over you. Just get it over with.



I sincerely hope that the diet works for you and that you haven't done some damage to your system.

Answer 2

I think you need to read what you typed. There is nothing wrong with his Mom staying with you, getting up early, and going for a walk. How about you smile and ask if you can join her? I think you need to be nice, stop acting like a spoiled child unless you want your marriage to end because thats where it's going. Forget those stupid fast weight loss diets. Join Weight Watchers or just type in "Diabetic Diet" on the internet and follow that. It's sensible eating with sensible portions. If everyone ate that way, we would all be thin and healthy. Then add in some walking for toning. Start today, smile and stop being so difficult. You won't win.....start a real sensible eating plan. The fast loss diets may make you lose weight but you will gain it all back and more.

Answer 3

I understand what your speaking approximately. I wont be assisting them the two. I cant have the money for too. yet I additionally understand what the supporters are doing. a minimum of the folk in new orleans are not trapped in rubble. while the typhoon hit that they had a lot of human beings bypass help. a lot of human beings are trapped under rubble, unable to go, with out foodstuff or water. in the experience that your place without notice clasped on precise of you and around you and you have been caught with out foodstuff or water or perhaps room to go for DAYS im particular you may decide for those that can assist you splendid? nicely what if all your associates and friends have been all trapped too or harm and unable to help? i don't think of you may care at that component who helped you in basic terms that somebody did. What in case you had a kinfolk member or somebody else you adore is it that spot you may decide for somebody to help them splendid? Haiti does not have the fashion of components and stuff that the U. S. has so the U. S. is assisting them. I understand what your speaking approximately, the U. S. does could help itself, yet splendid now thus far as i understand there are no substantial mess ups that are going on in the U. S. like in haiti so splendid now to three human beings haiti is the precise precedence. of direction I cant help them the two I actually produce different priorities, yet i can assist the supporters.

Answer 4

Summary:



YOU are making excuses for yourself and blaming everyone else because you don't want to be on this diet. You need counseling to see how you're acting. You have literally blamed your mother in law, your husband and his family countless times in such a way that it makes you think that you can't stay on this diet because of them. That is ridiculous at best. If you don't want to diet, then don't. But don't get on a diet and make excuse after excuse of why you can't stay on it.

Answer 5

Word of Advice - If you don't learn to get along with your mother-in-law you will ruin your marriage and may end up in divorce. I've seen it happen a million times. Find some way to get along with his family.

Answer 6

I've read it twice and you are being so immature about it all.

I think his mother sounds nice.

Get off your high horse and enjoy her stay,your husband will.

No energy get off that stupid diet your on and stop your excuses.

There are others ways to do it.

Start walking with your mother in law and listen to her she may

have good ideals siince you don't have any.