How do you know when it's time to move on after the 'loss' of your other half?

Question

How do you know when it's time to move on after the 'loss' of your other half...with 'loss' not meaning death, just not a part of your life anymore?

A good friend of mine asked me this question a few days ago & I have been racking my brain trying to come up with a 'good/best' answer to give him.

* * * Some of my suggestions thus far have been:

* * * --- that nobody can really tell you when
it's time for you to move on, that it's
a call that only you can really make.

* * * --- and that he should do what makes him
feel good inside & overall happy.

My friends frequently come to me when they want life advice & I always try my best to give a lot of thought so that I can give them "good" answers.

I know that there is bound to be a better answer to his question, I'm just a little stumped about what to tell him. Your help will be appreciated.

Answer 1

I have just lost two important persons in my life. My 22 year old son to death, and my husband to infidelity. For my son, even in death he came closer to me because he left all the positive foot prints in this world. My husband seems far away (in all senses) from me, he left all the negative foot prints in my world, which is worst than being dead.



I felt pain, hatred towards my husband. I was hurt, depressed and sad. My whole life was shattered after this because we have been married for a long long time and have grown up children.



I am moving forward with a positive thought that I don't need a cheater in my life. He and his whore are no better than me. When I understood it was not my fault, I did not do something wrong, its him, I felt much better. I am focused on building my career and finishing my master's program and other hobbies. Keeping myself busy with all these positive activities kept me going on.

Answer 2

It is never health to "mourn" the lose of a loved one, either alive or dead.

You have to accept the fact its over. Some people feel lose longer, but brouding on it for a long time can be unhealthy. You must look at what you have learned so far of relationships, and when you feel you are ready to try again, yes, only you will know. Take it slow, dont just grab the first one that comes along. And tell your friend "good luck".

Answer 3

Knowing when to move on depends on the situation. You aren't clear as to the particular situation. Is it a boyfriend/girlfriend breakup? Is it a divorce? There are different answers for each situation.



Generally, if the other person says it is over...it is over! Move on.

You can't make a person want to be with you, who does not want to be with you. Of course there will be a certain amount of grieving that needs to be done, but "obsessing" about the loss of someone who doesn't want to be with you isn't good.



If it is YOU who wants to move on, there are signs to look for. Does the other person have consideration for your feelings, are they trustworthy, are they dependable, are they considerate of you and others, do they share your moral outlook on life, do they make a lot of excuses for bad behavior, do they always blame you for any problems in the relationship - it is never their fault, etc...



There are several good books out there about this issue, and I suggest you go to the bookstore and get one or two. One is "How to Heal a Broken Heart in 30 Days: A Day-by-Day Guide to Saying Goodbye and Getting On With Your Life."



Check out some others. Pick the good ones and ignore the bad advice.

Answer 4

A radio therapist with her head on really straight, Joy Brown, has the "one year rule." That means you probably shouldn't date for a year after the divorce is final. The paperwork part. That is so that when you do get into a relationship, you are healthy and ready to be available emotionally. But real life sometimes prevails, and divorces can take a long time. If the couple isn't married, I guess the rules are different.

Answer 5

A person has to take the time to rediscover themselves as an individual before they should decide to make another attempt as part of a couple. If there is any doubt in his mind at all that he should enter into another relationship, then he shouldn't. That would make the prospect a rebound and would be unfair to both of them. When all of that doubt is gone, he is ready. Only he will know when that time has come.

Answer 6

1st of all - of course when you are ready. Never be in a hurry to move on or put it behind you. You have to be sure you process it thoroughly otherwise you just wind up repeating your mistakes and not learning the lesson you need to learn from failed relationships.



But also don't sit around a crying in your beer (or soda). Get busy doing other things. Go out with friends, get a hobby, volunteer, get a cause - get involved with something that keeps you from brooding over it.

Answer 7

I asked the same question a month ago, except my "loss of my other half" was a loss due to his death. Honestly, you just know. It sounds corny, and I was really hoping that there was some formula to tell you it is time, but there just isn't. Your head AND your heart will tell you it is time. Good luck!

Answer 8

When my wife left me for another man I was bitter, hurt,and full of resentment. I tried dating shortly after to take my mind off the situation but found that I was not good company for my date. I learned that I needed to resolve my feelings toward my exwife before I could go on normally or she would otherwise be on my mind while I was with someone else. Until you can think about your ex without pain and bitterness it will just about be inpossibe to carry on with any degree of happiness. Believe me, when you can achive this your life will become much brighter.

Answer 9

Basically when they are out of your system. The time to move on is whenever it feels right, and that's when you know you can go back out into the world of dating guilt-free and without doubt.

No one can predict how long it will take, but it will happen.

Everyone gets over their loss eventually.

Answer 10

Your ready to move on when you feel like yourself again. When you start to function in life normally again. Everyone goes through this at some point.....it hurts...takes time....you feel lost.....Then you come out of it......soon your looking back laughing.......then you forget about them.



When he finds a special girl that he cares for..........you can say he is so far over it that it will never be an issue again.

Answer 11

Tell him to man up and quit his crying.

Life is too short to sit around sulking over a relationship lost.

There are millions of women out there.

Sitting around crying over one of them is a waste of time.

I know your looking for some sensitive, caring answer that will ease his pain and suffering and......blah blah blah.

The longer he sits around whining about it the more time he loses that he will never get back.

He needs to get out and start doing things with friends to take his mind off her.

He needs to cowboy up and be a man, instead of crying like a little girl.

Answer 12

there is no set time frame the person will know in their heart when it is time.....people grieve at different speeds....some people who know the death is coming have already grieved and are reieved when death finally comes easing the persons pain, others will never get over the loss....just support the person in anything they choose and remember the lost loved one would want them to be happy.

Answer 13

I think you had some good answers.



I think you also know it when you start to smile again... If you don't think all the time about this person... If you enjoy life again.



Wish your friend the best.



Merry Christmas!

Answer 14

When they want to start living Again, Personally I find that getting back on the horse is the best method.

Answer 15

When you realize that you are sick of going over and over and over and over the same thoughts in your head, and you know that you've reached a sense of peaceful acceptance with the situation as it is.

Answer 16

When he's sure that he won't feel sorry later to give up and move on now, instead of keep trying.

Answer 17

six months to a year seems to be the norm take some time for urself u may like i

Answer 18

When you feel you are missing something, and you need to get back out there and find it.

Answer 19

When you are at peace with yourselves and you can look at your each other with out hard feelings.



Mildred sent me

Answer 20

How do you move on when you've lost your other half? I don't know how to walk with only one leg and one arm. I guess with one crutch?

Answer 21

When you are ready for it. It can take a week or years....

Answer 22

The answer is:When he can move on.

Answer 23

you just know in your heart