Question:
Found a sex email in husband's computer!?
2009-02-24 05:30:22 UTC
I went to his email to get the business stuff which he didn't email me and I found a website which is sex-search-com.com. I saw that he look at that email and put it in spam. In this email it says the free upgrade to former member. Which I think he was cuzz I found some sex meeting sites membership in his computer with his pictures. I don't know what to do. I didn't intend to invade someone's privacy. I went there just to get business plan so I can forward it to myself. Should I go to the site and see what he was doing. I am at work. I know he will go to the site and delete his information. I wanted to go before that happened.It says in the bottom of the email is "you are recieving this email because you signed up for this" What to do?
32 answers:
justagirl
2009-02-24 05:38:17 UTC
Look at the site and then talk to him about it in a non confrontational way (if possible.) Tell him to be completely honest with you about it. Based on his answer decide what to do from there, it could be spam but I doubt it.
Somethingtotry
2009-02-24 05:39:36 UTC
If he put the email in spam, then obviously he has no interest in it and just because it says you are receiving this email because you signed up for it does not make that true. Spammers use that phrase all the time to try to get people to visit their site either out of curiosity or out of trying to find out why they might be signed up on the site.



If I were you, I would drop it. If it were something he was trying to hide, it certainly would not be where you could find it so easily.



If you find you cannot drop it, then by all means ask him about it. It may have just been something he did out of curiosity and then decided against it.
2009-02-24 23:34:10 UTC
Check the site out, it might just be porn which is really no big deal. if he is meeting other woman you have a serious problem though. As for your lack of satisfaction, buy some sexy lingerie and wear it for him before he becomes tired at night, maybe you could make a nice dinner for him, light some candles and where a silky nightie to the table. If all else fails, buy a toy and let him "catch" you using it.
2009-02-24 05:48:29 UTC
I'm worried that the reasonable people are going to get drowned out by the hysterical people answering your question. It was in his spam folder. People put things into the spam folder when they are spam. Your husband put the email in his spam folder because he considered it spam. Do you not understand the concept of spam? It is junk email that's trying to sell something. What to do, you ask? Give your husband a kiss and tell him what a great guy you think he is not to get suckered in by sex search spam emails.
Amo de angel
2009-02-24 05:37:07 UTC
See what it is so that he can't lie to you, then talk to him about it.



I'm not going to tell you how you should feel about it either way, but in my mind, if it's just a porn site, then it's no big deal.



If it's a personals site and he's looking for sex, then you have a problem on your hands.



EDIT: Would people PLEASE stop throwing around the words "sex addict" every time someone mentions something sexual on here. People can like sex and porn with out being "sex addicts"
brianjames04
2009-02-24 06:51:56 UTC
My wife and I have been together for 28 years and yes we are happy together. One of the secrets of getting along is keeping things in prospective.



First thing is men like porn. This fact can be disturbing to women because most women see porn as exploitative and demeaning. It's ironic too because in countries were attitudes are the most Puritanical (like Saudi Arabia) a huge raunchy and vile underground culture of porn develops. As in more sexually open societies such as in the Scandinavian countries, they have almost no real demand for the stuff.



To me porn is like alcohol, an adult pleasure that most people can safely indulge in. Of course you're concerned because like alcohol, porn can lead into serious problems.



Be an adult, tell him what you found and just ask him if you should be concerned about it? And trust him if he says no.



I use to work one man who had his own machine shop. One day his wife walked in and was quite upset over the pictures that were hung on the walls. This was not hard core stuff but more like vintage Playboy.



The wife was very shrill and judgmental. He took it all down but he totally resented it. He saw it as an invasion of his space and his wife as being repressive and controlling. Actually it was something that became a reoccurring theme in their other domestic problems.



Talk to your husband, be open, be honest but don't push him into a corner or make it into a moral issue. Otherwise your husband will feel motivated to lie to you and keep things secret. And that can potenially hurt your marriage far more than smut on the internet because when men feel they need to lie to their wives that's when they start to look for the other woman "who really understands them".
kae03
2009-02-24 05:38:05 UTC
Since you are at work there is nothing you can to right now in terms of confronting him. Do not give him any hint that you are on to him. To prevent him from deleting the mails, wait until you reach home and open the mail in front of him. Then you can question him all you want about it, only you can decide if he his telling the truth and which steps to take next.
Michelle ↑ ♥ Mama to Jason ♥ ↑
2009-02-24 05:35:32 UTC
honestly this sound like spam...

i get emails all the time that say my free membership is up and to signup to it for full membership and that i signed up for it.. things like viagra or sex sites.. they are just spam. i would say to ur hubby i was forwarding myself the business plan and i seen some emails from sex sites, are they spam or real? u'll know by his reaction.. and hes ur husband ur meant to be able to talk about things like that.



good luck and try not too stress too much ok :)
2009-02-24 05:46:35 UTC
You have seen enough to know your husband has a problem. The next thing you should do is to seek a solution.

He is your husband, so I believe you should be free to discuss this with him. Ok, so he is going to accuse you of prying into his private affairs so he can have a hiding place; admit you did so the problem can be solved.
Sug
2009-02-24 05:53:49 UTC
This is a big issue for a lot of couples, especially when they are not upfront about it. You need to confront him and ask him what is going on, and give him a chance to explain himself.
2009-02-24 05:41:44 UTC
Well, you're at work so I wouldn't recommend looking at it there, you could get in serious trouble if your boss finds out.



Maybe on your break go to an internet cafe and check there. I would definately confront him on this.
Almost♥Perfect
2009-02-24 05:34:08 UTC
I get some emails that say similar things. I do not always sign up for them though.

Go with your heart and live with the fallout...

Or ask him about it and tell him how you found it..

If it is in his spam folder, perhaps that should tell you something,.
bearable_girl
2009-02-24 05:40:06 UTC
3 key components in successful marriage are not negotiable they are necessary. Trust is one of them. Do you trust him? If not, then you need to get help. I don't think he will go for counseling because one has to see that there is a problem in order to want to fix it.

Good Luck!
2009-02-24 05:39:29 UTC
Get the info and save it to throw in his face! It is only cyber sex but it can lead up to worse. Make him stop it now. You can threaten to sign up to it yourself and meet some dudes online.
2009-02-24 05:38:42 UTC
OHHHHHHHH I hate men. Yes check it out, he's cheating on u on line. What man dosen't. Before u know it he's going to meet her. So go girl and tell him what u found, don't be afraid and don't let him lie to u. GOOD LUCK
brookiiieeee
2009-02-24 05:39:31 UTC
there is spam that does that so that you'll sign up to them. dont trust the internet its stupid sometimes. if your worried check it out your self if it's what you expected then confront him
marsena
2009-02-24 05:45:01 UTC
tell him what you know and what u seen- he may fess up or he may deny it -u just stick to you guns and stand your grounds - its your man heck yeah you can look 2 c what he is doing ...this is cheating. ask him would he like some help.
Jinky Pie
2009-02-24 05:37:09 UTC
Ask him if he still wants you and tell him if he doesn't, you split. But he must be open if he wants to do so. But honestly, ity seems he's just playing.
Jay Sharky
2009-02-24 05:35:56 UTC
Check it out and see what he's been up to. Whatever you find, make print outs!!



Then toss the print outs at him when he lies about it. Make copies, just in case before you just throw it all at him.
kscha925
2009-02-24 05:34:58 UTC
If I were you I would look into it more to make sure your not over thinking it. It sounds like something you need to talk about with him.
frankie b
2009-02-24 09:10:11 UTC
if you insecure , immature, full of cow manure children would respect your spouse's private space, you would not have such earth shaking problems.
jaya3642
2009-02-24 05:34:59 UTC
Maybe your hubby is doing something wrong baby,be careful and ask him directly if you caught him,all the best:)
bornatubby
2009-02-24 05:34:27 UTC
Its spam, regardless what they say.. now go root your husband.
cristelle R
2009-02-24 05:33:50 UTC
ask him.... tell him you went online to check business things and you found it... it might just be spam
2009-02-24 05:35:07 UTC
since it is "FORMER MEMBER" what is the problem??? it was spam and he wasn't using it...



move on with your life...
2009-02-24 06:04:54 UTC
It's spam which is why it was in his spam folder.....geesh...relax
2009-02-24 05:35:47 UTC
I would check it out.
**proudmumof4**
2009-02-24 05:33:58 UTC
Yeah go for it, read it all before he deletes it then when you have solid proof divorce him.
2009-02-24 18:03:40 UTC
eww everyone:)??

https://answersrip.com/question/index?qid=20090224175144AAWrXDg
blueberry
2009-02-24 05:33:47 UTC
yes go check it out and then confront him
Shaun T
2009-02-24 05:33:45 UTC
have a discreet afair of your own?
2009-02-24 05:35:46 UTC
Stay off of HIS computer then..............


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