How does child support work?

Question

Can somebody please explain to me how child-support works, preferably in the most objective manner possible?

In the gender studies section, there is a constant rant and whine about how child-support is so unfair for men.

I am growing weary of these long gripe sessions, and the subsequent villainizing of woman, calling them "skanks" and "wh0res" and "gold diggers" for collecting child support.

Needless to say, when I hear that point of view, I lose sympathy for these guys, and I wonder what went on in the courtroom, and what kind of husband he was.

There is not a single legal professional who is a GS regular, as far as I know.

As I understand it, when a couple is no longer together, the courts decide what is in the child's best interest.

Is this system, overall, unfair to men, in your opinion? Am I a bad person for saying that the courts are run by legal professionals and the state, and I can't conclude one way or the other if a guy got "screwed" or not?

Please avoid using sexualized or derogatory metaphors. I appreciate your help.

Also, please tell me the country you are referring to.

Answer 1

My dear I am the single parent of an autistic child. He suffers from this because of intrauterine retardation syndrome. His mother is an addict. Family Services told me that as long as she was seeking help, ie. on the methadone programme, she was considered "disabled" (addiction being a disease) and refused to intervene as long as the child was healthy. However I stayed at home, quit my career as a teacher, to work nights so I could look after my son during the day to make sure he was healthy. I was informed by a lawyer that if I tried to take my son I would be charged with kidnapping. So I stayed with a heroin addict for four years, sheltering my son and caring for him- even taking him with me to sleep while I worked. She phoned the police on me if I didn't pay her money, saying that she would say I threatened her and my son with violence. One day I had no more money, she took my son. I phoned the police and Family Services. The police said there wasn't much they could do- she was the mother and legal guardian afterall, Family Services told me to call the police as soon as she showed up- which she did two days later. She realized she had crossed a line- my son was four- but threatened to run off if I phoned the police. Family Services came next day and took my son- not just from his mother, but from me as well- for showing poor judgement in not calling the authorities- even after the Police told me I had done the right thing because they couldn't have stopped her. For a year Family Services made me jump through every hoop, put me through every test, tried everything to test my patience to see if I had anger issues. I did everything; including pointing out that nobody would be in this position if Family Services had listened to my concerns since my son came home after detox. I lost my career as a teacher and made to feel like I was some junkie who neglected his son (I never have touched the stuff, probably why I was so naïve, plus I had just returned from working overseas from a very orthodox Muslim country). I was awarded full custody, but no child support. During this time my son's maternal grandfather passed away. He left money to his grandson, but at the time his mother was still guardian, even though he was in foster care. The money was spent, and legally, there's nothing to be done- she was still guardian afterall. Now I have full custody, there is no visitation- because of the nature of her "illness" as long as she gives "reasonable notice" I can not deny her.

There was no child support awarded- none. I know that even people on the dole here have their cheques garnished as at least a symbolic gesture- even if it is only $20. Or their tax credit. Not me, and I'm the only one I have heard of this here. People don't believe me until I pull out the Final Custody papers.

I don't know about other men or women. But I was told by two different workers who would, of course, deny saying it, but they told me if EVERYTHING else was EXACTLY the same, but just switch genders, not only would NONE of it had happened, but I would have had support from day one, kept my house, my job and gotten the help my son needed; his mother refused to acknowledge his ASD as she believed it would be an admission that her drug use could have (more than likely) caused it. Maybe those workers were right about genders being treated differently, I do know women from the programmes I was forced to attend and none of them seemed to experience the difficulties I did. But without another male that experienced the same thing I did I can't honestly say it was because of my sex.

Answer 2

If you're talking about child support in the US, you also have to know what state you're talking about - each state has its own child support laws. Second, you need to understand that not all child support issues are handled in courts of law. In most cases, if the state is providing assistance to the mother; i.e., welfare, the child support issues are handled by an administrative court controlled by the state welfare agency. That is where most of the unfairness comes into the system.



There are many things about the child support system which are unfair to both sides. Your assumption about the best interests of the child is very wrong when it comes to child support. The best interests test only applies in cases of custody & visitation; child support is strictly controlled by statute. And, the laws which are passes are passed as part of a highly politicized legislative process.



One problem is that child support if based on gross income, not net in most states. I freely admit that the problem with a net basis is that the supporting party could deduct everything from their paycheck & not have any income. that would be wrong. However, the basic deductions for taxes and insurance should be taken out of the gross pay before the child support is computed. That would ensure that the child support payments are based on something which the supporting parent could actually pay.



Notice I said supporting parent. Another of your incorrect assumptions is that child support is always paid by the man. No, it's paid by the parent who does not have custody of the children.



Other problems with the system:



1. If the state permits child support to be apportioned based on the amount of nights a child spends with either parent, it begs parents to play games with visitation schedules - for no reason other than to adjust the child support amount.



2. Although the custodial parent's wages are taken into account in computing the amount of child support, way too often, if the custodial parent is the mother, her failure to work, work full-time, etc. is simply blown off by the courts. Income is imputed to a man, but not nearly so often to a woman.



P.S. I am a woman.

Answer 3

I have 22 years of working with fathers on this subject, but you will note that I never use such language.

http://childsupportrights.org/ChildSupport-WhatUNeed2Know



However, there are significant problems, though generally it comes from lack of education as much as anything.



First off, there is an Urban Legend that men only go for custody to avoid paying child support. Less that 15% of custodial fathers are awarded child support, of which 5% receive any. However, 9% of custodial fathers are still ordered to pay child support.

https://answersrip.com/question/index?qid=20110305165929AAZzY0M



A mother can more successfully argue for a Rebuttable Presumption to show that she should not pay the guideline amount as she is being emotionally harmed by not having custody, so what a father may be warded would be significantly less then a father earning the same amount of money would pay.



The media claims there are billions in child support owed, but 83% of that is interest penalties, and not the actual amount owed.

http://divpat.org/YR-ChildSupportArrearsSoHigh



Death of a child support obligor is not considered a defensible argument for not making child support payments in any state.



No state provides informs child support obligors that there is free help to modify an order in the event of an involuntary loss of income, such as a result of a job layoff. They refuse to give out the free handbook on their rights.



Federal Child Support Enforcement Handbook for Non-Custodial Parents

http://ChildSupportRights.org



A man can be required to pay child support even when he is not the father of the child(ren) in cases whether he was living or formerly married to the mother, even when the bio dad is paying. Further, a man can be serve with an paternity action in many states by newspaper notice, and after the child support order is entered, it cannot be overturned. Kansas is one such state. A year ago, a 21 year old man was informed by the IRS that his tax return was intercepted due to owing child support for his 15 year old daughter. Not even his birth certificate was admissible as evidence.



A woman can be award child support, in every state, even when the father is a child that she molested.

http://dadshousedocs.org/StatutoryRapeVictimsMustPayChildSupport.pdf



However, the boy cannot file for custody due to his age, and his parents have no standing in the court to file.

http://www.fact.on.ca/news/news0303/mnd030311.htm



In five states, inclduing California, if the child support obligor remarries, the income of his wife can be considered for setting the amount he pays.

http://divpat.org/ChildSupport-2nd-Spouse-Income-N-Obligation



If a man is paying child support through a weekly or bi-weekly payroll deduction, he is accumulating interest penalties as eight months out of the year he has not paid the full amount.



There is no accountability for child support. The woman can tell a new spouse or boyfriend that she is not getting it, so he fully supports the children,while she spends the money as she wants.

Answer 4

I am talking about America.

Child support is the process of one parent receiving money every month from the parent who does not have custody over their shared child.



All i have to say is that it REALLY depends on the situation.

FOR EXAMPLE:

my parents were together for like...5-6 years? and i loved him and all but when we moved to the US my mom realized she didnt love him and he got abusive - he didnt actually do anything, but acted like he would. thing is, we had nothing when they got divorced and i went with my mom because it was just the obivious decision - i was closer to her and my dad had actually adopted me and wasnt my biological father.

so, since we were in poverty, it made sense that he paid alimony.

still does since my mom had more kids and no husaband.

another case is for my younger sister where she sees her dad like once every month or so but he doesnt live with us and again - we're not so rich. so this all makes sense when the mother or father is not very wealthy.



NOW.

when it is the other way around with the money going to the mother even though she has a job and all, i think it is still fair since she is a single mom. BUT. i am pretty sure the rule applies to the mother if the father ended up keeping the child - no?

if it does not, that is incredibly unfair.

Answer 5

Ok for me I was married to a woman for a year and she got pregnant. I wanted to start a family with her and she told me that she wanted to do the same-both of us raising the child. Then when she got pregnant she filed for divorce one month after she found out. The next thing that i knew I found myself with mandated court ordered child support to the tune of 250 a month despite the fact that I was unemployed at the time. Then when I wanted to see my child my former wife did not allow me to see him, and when I went over to her house I had a restraint order places upon me, and I had to go to court again to get my rights defined as to how exactly it is that I am going to see my child-more court costs...Recently I have to actually pay to see my son for a lousy hour every week. She gets to see him 24 hours a day and has completely disclosed me form the entire process of his growing up. I also found out that she is suffering form a mental illness too. Sound fun? It's not because now if I don't pay my support I get my liscence taken away and I can even go to jail. Now I spend my time scraping up food where ever I can, buying second hand clothes, and trying to scrounge up enough money to pay my rent every month, and my child support. All so that I can see my son one hour a week. FUN TIMES!

Answer 6

Child support and custody are two different issues. Both have to be court ordered. Since your father was court ordered to pay child support to your mother, that's what he's doing. Since you mother was granted custody of you via another court order, you are living with her. If you want to live with your father, and your mother is not willing to allow you to do so, he would need to go back to court and petition that the original ruling giving your mother custody be overturned. In order for that to be successful, he would have to prove that living with your mother is a danger to your life and safety. So no, you saying you don't like your mom (as all children your age do sooner or later) is not going to make a judge overrule an existing custody order.