Getting engaged to another while still married?

Question

I have known this man 6 years thru my biz, phone only. We have both been in unhappy marriages. He started with feelings for me years back. We are now both committed to each other. We are meeting in July. Both getting divorced and he will be moving herein Jan 09. I'm afraid he wont leave his wife. We talk more on the phone then they do in person. No sex since Dec. 07 for both of us. We both promised no sex. We dont want it with our spouses. I have never felt love like this. He's 50, Im 54. I pushed him to commitment in Dec. 07, he said he couldnt leave his family. He has since thought about is ready.Kids are married and live far away wife has done nothing to make marriage work. Its just dead. I fear he will change his mind he has offered to get engaged with me in July. He retires Dec 31. We are soul mates, made for one another. He bought me a sapphire ring that I wear to seal our love. Now he wants to get engaged so I will feel confidant about us.Is this wrong 2 do 2 keep me from worry?

Answer 1

It sounds like your making a lot (or trying to) of decisions without the facts...from the beginning...You have never met this man, any of his friends, or met his children...You are taking "everything" he "TELLS" YOU AS FACT. and IT MAY BE, but REMEMBER- A FACT IN HIS EYES MAY NOT BE A FACT IN SOMEONE ELSE'S EYES.

You also wrote that you both promised "no sex" how are you sure this is the case? How can you be sure his "word" is unbreakable"? I think , the relationship needs to step back and slow down. If you are truly meant to be together it will happen, but in the right time frame. Plus, not to sound harsh but...I think it's important for you booth to be able to say to yourselves that you put everything into trying to make your current marriages work...like the time and effort on this relationship? There are a lot of "stages" to go through after a divorce, see how you each handle those stresses, and keep your eyes open, just to be sure. Good Luck!

Answer 2

Load of horse sh*t. You two dont have any real commitment you are both still LEGALLY married to other people. This just sounds like an affair. He also gave you that ring for the WRONG reasons and he ISNT going to LEAVE his family as he told you. Which means he will NOT be getting a divorce. That should have been a red flag right there. You two might as well end the affair if he isnt going to leave his wife.

Answer 3

Both of your marriages might have worked if you'd each put as much effort into your respective marriages as you did to having an adulterous relationship.



What goes around comes around. If you are unhappy with your hubby, you at least should be lady enough to end it with him before you take up with someone else.



How long do you think it will be before this "soul mate" of yours is cultivating another phone relationship with someone, telling her how unhappy he is with you?



And furthermore Honey, you don't "push a man to commitment". If he doesn't love and respect you enough to do that on his own, why would you settle for him?



Sounds to me like you're both getting what you deserve ... each other.

Answer 4

end it now, and get a divorce (both of you). when you are free to get into a relationship, get back together. you both may be using each other as a way to make being in sh*tty marriages more tolerable, and once you are no longer in the marriages, you may find you have nothing in common. you can not rope someone into a commitment, by the way, nor should you - he will only blme you for messing up his marriage later. talk and gifts mean NOTHING; a divorce certificate does.

Answer 5

getting engaged is a romantic way of sealing a commitment . its neither legal of binding ...

Answer 6

And the funny thing is you will expect each other to be faithful