Is this man a pedophile?

Question

Is this man a pedophile?

Answer 1

Try to find out for sure that he hasn't done anything like that since he was 13. It is extremely common for children who were molested to act out and perform the same acts that they had suffered. It's a vicious and horrible cycle.



But people can be rehabilitated. Since you've been with this guy for so long and probably have many emotions invested in this relationship, you should take him to see some kind of thereapist. Just to make sure that he really has changed.



It does depend on how you found out he has been in that children's home. If he told you, that is a good sign that he just wants to clear the air and let you know everything about his past. If you found out from a third party, or in a manner that suggested that this information should serve as a warning to you- be careful.

Answer 2

Very complicated situation.... Its possible that at 13 (still a child) he was just acting in the way that he believed he should act. Maybe he was helped through therapy etc during those years he was in a children's home and after it. You have to talk to him about it. Only he knows what it is in his mind and how he feels about his past and what he did. Try getting him to talk and explain it to you. Also you have to ask yourself if he have shown tendencies towards being a pedophile as an adult.

Answer 3

Has he had counseling? Have you seen how he acts around children? Do you feel in your gut that he's trustworthy?



Answer these questions honestly, and you will know what to do.



Personally, I believe pedophilia is not curable. I'd run for the hills.

Answer 4

I work as a nurse in a "boys" correction facility. There is a saying "gay for the stay"... even if they are not gay... so this being said, you need to talk to him about your concerns about his feeling about young children (especially young boys). I am not sure I would label him a pedophile when this happened when HE was 13, he was still a child himself and confused. Many DO NOT go on to be molesters, if given the proper therapy. The fact he was in a correction facility for this, tells me he has specific therapy and may have kicked the tendency. But I would ask him to be honest with you, what does HE feel his tendencies are. Is he still struggling with it, etc... if you feel/see red flags, then call it quits.

Answer 5

Run far away, and call the cops.



Think about it this way: say you let the relationship continue, and have children...how do you know he won't abuse your daughter someday, and hurt your very children?

Answer 6

I have heard (but never seen it written down) that most teens that molest are 'just experimenting' and like 70% do not offend as adults. If he's in his 30's, it may be that he has never offended again OR it could mean that he's never been caught offending again.

He did his 'time for his crime', so should he continue to be punished/shunned for some thing he did as a teen? mmmmmm

Answer 7

If you think you love this guy, sit down and discuss this with him, including your concerns. Afterwards, take some time to think about his responses and your impression of them. Some people only offend once, with siblings or family. Ask him as gently as you can if it has happened again. Maybe it has or maybe not. Check if he has had long-term relationships with adult women in the past that seemed normal. Find out where he has lived in the past.*



Also, check into his background*. Is he a registered sex offender? All of the states have databases now that can be accessed by the public for free or little $. You put the full name in there and sometimes the date of birth. Sometimes it even shows them if they are using an alias. Don't feel bad about this. You are talking about your future and the possible future of children.



If you feel he is being evasive in his answers, dump him. It's not worth it.



By the way, a pedophile is someone who derives sexual pleasure from a child. Usually there is a 2 or more year difference in ages. But it tends to be a repeated pattern of behavior. Pedophiles tend to make excuses or rationalize the behavior by saying that the child is seductive or sexy and cam on to them (children are not seductive unless they are abused). They tend to claim that the child made some kind of choice to have sex with them. This is not true.



ONe more fact. . . getting sexually abused as a child does not necessarily mean you will be a pedophile. Otherwise, 10-15% of the population would be pedophiles. But, a very high percentage of pedophiles were sexually abused as children.

Answer 8

First let me say, Shame on most of the responders here. Shame on you,. This was a child acting in the way ADULTS taught him to behave. He was not some adult man hanging out at the elementary school playground.

If he came to you with this info he is probably ashamed and hoping you can forgive him. How is he around children? How do you feel in your gut?

This mans life was ruined by a pedophile, he may never have an opportunity to lead a normal life if every time he feels comfortable telling his history everyone leaves him. Its a sad situation.

Make your best decision,

good luck and take care of you

Answer 9

First, If his childhood incident is the only incident against him that he's done something of this nature, I don't believe that's enough to condemn him life as "pedophile".



Second, if he was a true pedophile, he probably would have already committed it again and been caught. If a person has gone from age 13 to 30 without an incident, and the incident at age 13 was right after the same actions were taken against him shortly before, in my opinion he's not a pedophile. He was a confused child who needed to be taught that the things that were done to him and he did to others were wrong.



Without any additional indications that he's done anything wrong, I think you have to give him the benefit of the doubt.



All these other people who are rushing to judgment are naive and assuming the worst. This is a serious situation that deserves deep thought and not just a snap judgment like I see from many of the other responses.

Answer 10

Disturbed children who do those sick things turn into cuckoo adults...leave!!

Answer 11

often what occurs in ones childhood will effect a person later in life. i wouldn't chance it, why buy trouble. u have to look at a persons past, as it often determines the future.

Answer 12

The people on yahoo! Answers are a bunch of knuckleheads. He was 13 when he molested those kids. AFTER HE HAD BEEN MOLESTED AND ABUSED FOR FOUR YEARS! That makes him a pedophile? The stupidity amazes me. Maybe you should run. Maybe you shouldn't run.I think there are some questions you need to ask. 1. How did you find out? Did he tell you or did someone else tell you as a warning? 2. Has he molested anyone since he got out of jail at 18? 3. Has he gotten counseling for his own trauma? 4. Is he still undergoing therapy? 5. Do his family members trust him with their children now? 6. Where is the person who molested him? 7. How's his sex life with a grown woman?



All that plays into any answer to this question. For instance, if he told you, then I'd take that as a sign he's unlikely to repeat his behavior. If he is/was hiding it, then you should probably run away. If he's in therapy or been in therapy for the whole situation, that's a good sign. If not, thats not so good. If family members trust him now, that's good. If not, that's debatable. If he has a low sex drive with a grown woman, but gets excited after being seeing kids, that's bad.



I wouldn't just react, I'd tell you to think about the man and his situation. He was 13 and he molested two kids. He had been molested for four years by someone he trusted apparently. That can play with his mind. He could have gone through a phase or he could be permanently damaged. That probably takes a professional's opinion.

Answer 13

Okay let's be honest here:

(1) The incident you've described was when he was 13 years old and occurred after he had been molested for 4 years. How is a 13 year old supposed to know what is right and what is wrong sexually when his only role model was to molest others? Remember that the adolescent brain really isn't developed, and it REALLY can't tell right from wrong. After this was discovered he spent 5 years in a children's home. Do you think he got the message? That's why juveniles get charged as juveniles and not sent to prison... juveniles CAN be rehabilitated!



Yes, recidivism rates for sex criminals are higher than those for other types of crimes, but this isn't your pervert uncle who exposed himself and then raped 5 of his cousins... this was a kid who got screwed over (literally) by an authority figure and then mirrored that behavior.



I think you have to talk to him about it, really listen to what those years of his life were like, and what's happend since. But you shouldn't condemn a guy for having a rotten childhood and being a victim.



(P.S. how can a 13 year old be a pedophile? He was a child himself! If a 5 year old plays a game of "I'll show you mine if you show me yours" no one says that's disturbed. Yes, he was a victim. Yes, followed what he was shown, but he didn't do it when he was 30, or 25, or 20, or even 15! Now I'm not saying that you should run to him without a thought... all I'm saying is talk to the guy and give him a chance.)

Answer 14

Based on your description the answer is mixed yes/no. I don't believe a true pedophile at his age would be interested in a relationship with his peer at 31 . If he was 65 it would be a different story. You say he was married and divorced before you met and has 3 kids with no issues, no problems. This does not mean that he hasnt had problems with other people's children in the past. How sure are you about all this? What are his kids ages? Learn more. There are a lot of unanswered questions. You need a complete history and backround check on him before you continue in this relationship. This is true of any relationship that is getting more serious to the point of marriage. He had learned a behavior from the ages of 8 - 12 that he acted out at age 13. Without details about this I cant judge fairly. Living 5 years of his life in a childrens homes tells me he could not live with his parents. So their could be derogatory info about them as well, this is serious. Without more information on these years 8- 12 and the depth of abuse it hard to answer your question accurately and you need the right answer. There is a 50/50 chance he has overcome this abusive time in his life and has moved on. On the chance he hasn't overcome it, there will be evidence to prove it. Search his past and see if there be any epidsodes of abuse, you will find out soon enough. By doing a complete backround check I mean professional dective check, criminal check, employment check, school checks, IRS FBI USCIS, check everything about his life, not using some add you see on the Internet. Those are incomplete. They take your money for nothing. Some people say run, but I say proceed with keen sense of caution.

Answer 15

Why would you run away? This happened when he was 13? and now he's 34? come on now you've been with this man for 2 years and all of a sudden you want to run away because of something he did when he was 13. What if he found out you where a whore when you where 13 and you've had gonorrhea several times before you turned 20. Should he leave you alone now that you are 30? well okay then to each his own love him and be happy with the man he is and not the little curious kid he was.

Answer 16

nswers are a bunch of knuckleheads. He was 13 when he molested those kids. AFTER HE HAD BEEN MOLESTED AND ABUSED FOR FOUR YEARS! That makes him a pedophile? The stupidity amazes me. Maybe you should run. Maybe you shouldn't run.I think there are some questions you need to ask. 1. How did you find out? Did he tell you or did someone else tell you as a warning? 2. Has he molested anyone since he got out of jail at 18? 3. Has he gotten counseling for his own trauma? 4. Is he still undergoing therapy? 5. Do his family members trust him with

Answer 17

I have discussed this topic with several psychiatrists who do not treat pedophiles in their practice. The consensus view is that the disorder has its onset in the pedophiles teen years. Given the severity of the punishment back when he was 13, I have a difficult time thinking it was a "one time" event. Rather than being confined to childhood, I understand it is the childhood behavior that is the hallmark behavior of a pedophile. You asked. My reply: "run far away." Not sure if you seek the opinion of some friends that you will get as candid an answer as from the people on this thread. Not saying my word is the last word. But, I am familiar the general "markers" for which one should look.

Answer 18

What people don't understand is that when a child is molested young they tend to turn around and do the same to others their age or younger. They are ashamed of whats happening to them but the molester tells them it is not wrong. Although they sense it, they then tend to do the same to others not really grasping it is wrong.



It is a serious issue and it seems like times has passed and he has done his time for his mistakes. If he is not hurting his children and not surfing for kiddie porn let his childhood be. It probably hurts very much to bring it up.



I was molested by my own brother. He was never told any better when he found porn mags everywhere and my mom had drawers of sexy things... so when he saw a man and woman do that in a book he acted it out. In fact my mother ignored the problem and my step dad tried to do something but she was too far into denial to do anything. Our family is fine now, and we have done our counseling and our growing up... but we most certainly don't bring it back up!!!!



Take him as he is now, not his past, and to be clear no he is not a pedophile.

Answer 19

Well, based on what you said, there is certainly reason to be concerned. He fits the profile of pedophile to a tee. However, it doesn't mean that he is one. Sexual impulses and proclivities are complicated. It is possible that it was an isolated incident or he no longer has feelings for young children.



Tough call, because this will always be in the back of your mind. If you really love this person and think he's worth the risk, give him the benefit of the doubt and proceed with caution. I would wait quite a while before marriage however. Get to know him better along with his family. Pay close attention to him. If you see any weirdness or signs of sexual dysfunction, I would leave. If he goes away a lot and is unaccountable or doesn't like talking about where he goes, etc...leave. If everything seems normal after a few years, then go for a marriage.

Answer 20

What happened to him when he was young is just to horrible to talk about i know because i was molested as a child. For him to molest someone means that at one point while he was being molested he started enjoying the feeling he was getting from it. If you love him you better not ever have children with him or take him around children just to be safe.

Now if he has had counseling for what was done to him and what he did to his cousins then maybe he has learned that what he did was so horrible and he will never do it again. No one can really know not even him if he will ever do it again until he is put in a situation where he is tempted then and only then will he know if he is cured or not.

Answer 21

This is a hard situation! I was molested when i was a child and then raped by a relative when i was 15, I dealt with people telling me that When your molested as a child most likely you will end up doing it to your own children... Wrong for the sane people anyway! I am disgusted by people who are sick enough to touch a child especially their own! I am 22 married and have two little boys. I would never touch them or hurt them and id kill anyone whod try.. If hes the one who came out and told you this, then sit down with him and discuss it. As a child when something traumatic happens to you, you can be scarred! For me i was disgusted of the thought of sex. As a child, when this happens sometimes your just curious, or you want someone else to hurt the way you did.. The main thing you should think about is Will you be able to trust him around kids or will you always be worried and wondering in the back of your mind if something is happening!!

Answer 22

Wait a minute...you've been in a serious relationship with a man for two years, and it's just been revealed that he's a convicted child molester? That's definitely scary, and worth checking into further.



What's sad about this whole thing is that this man suffered a tragic childhood and suffered at the hands of another molester, did time for his wrongdoings, and at the age of 30 is still suffering from the horrors done to him, and the horrors he did to others. What's scary is that there may be a time and a place that will trigger his horror, and he in turn, may do something he totally regrets that could possibly ruin you and anyone else(children) you share in common with him.



In my belief, only a trained and educated counselor or licensed professional in this area of study can tell you what you might expect from this man. If the man appeared to be the monster to you, you obviously wouldn't have dated him for two years. There has to be some qualities about him you like and have hung your hat on to continue in this relationship?



My advice to you is to go with your gut feelings. I had a man tell me a college secret that I found disturbing, and although my gut told me to run in the opposite direction, I chose to stay because all other aspects of the relationship were good, and I ended up marrying him! Unfortunately, I should have listened to my gut feeling, and turned the other way!



You are the only person that will be true to yourself. If you're having to ask others about this issue, it's probably a sign that you're uneasy with the information you've been told.



Good luck and God bless you. I hope you trust your gut instinct.

Answer 23

A 13 year old is still a child. Sometimes children do horrible things. But I don't think a 13 year old can be considered a pedophile unless he was molesting a baby or something! I agree with the answers that said you should consider this carefully, but he may well be recovered and have never done or thought about doing such a thing again.

Answer 24

What a bunch of moronic answers. A pedophile is an adult who loves children the wrong way. This guy your with molested an 8+9 yo when he was 13. I hardly think that makes him a pedophile. At 13, he was only acting out upon the things he'd experienced. I'm sure that as an adult he's a little mixed up from his abuse, but by now he's been taught right from wrong.

Answer 25

This does not mean that he hasnt had problems with other people's children in the past. How sure are you about all this? What are his kids ages? Learn more. There are a lot of unanswered questions. You need a complete history and backround check on him before you continue in this relationship. This is true of any relationship that is getting more serious to the point of marriage. He had learned a behavior from the ages of 8 - 12 that he acted out at age 13. Without details about this I cant judge fairly. Living 5 years of his life in a childrens homes tells me he could not live with his parents. So their could be derogatory info about them as well, this is serious. Without more information on these years 8- 12 and the depth of abuse it hard to answer your question accurately and you need the right answer. There is a 50/50 chance he has overcome this abusive time in his life and has moved on. On the chance he hasn't overcome it, there will be evidence to prove it. Search his past and see if there be any epidsodes of abuse, you will find out soon enough. By doing a complete backround check I mean professional dective check, criminal check, employment check, school checks, IRS FBI USCIS, check everything about his life, not using some add you see on the Internet. Those are incomplete. They take your money for nothing. Some people say run, but I say proceed with keen sense of caution.

Answer 26

It is not terribly uncommon for a child who had been molested to do the same thing to other kids....but this does not mean that he is a pedophile. When you say molested his cousins are you saying he raped them....or touched them inappropriately. For now, keep an eye on his behavior when you are around children. How did you happen to get the info about his problems as a kid? Rumors or did he tell you? If he told you, then I wouldnt be at all concerned about it. If it was a rumor from someone else, I would ask him about it. Tell him that you thought he would want to know what is being said.



Good luck.

Answer 27

I think that it is very sad that molesting children begets the next generation of child molesters. The residual effects of harming this young man becomes his vengence on others younger or more innocent. This vicious circle never seems to end. I don't honestly know if he received enough therapy or any to understand what happened to him as a child, but statistics say that this is an almost incurable situation. I hope for your sakes decision that he is one of the lucky ones that may have been helped and would not cause you heartache. Try to set your heart aside for a while and use an analytical mindset to make your decision. Best of luck for this could be both yours and your future childrens or your family members childrens safety and well being.

Answer 28

Once a pedophile always a pedophile!!!!! Pedophiles NEVER become rehabilitated. For example, before my grandfather molested me he molested other children and it was many years between each molestation. When a predator ( pedophile ) gets these feelings in their blood and through their body they can't stop ever even if they really want to. And you don't know if he molested his kids or not. That's not a 100% thing. The kids may say no but it really happened to them. They could be afraid. I know that I was. Why did it take so long for you to find out about his charges of molestation? I would run as fast as you can. And I'm not just saying that because I was molested. listen to yourself, your heart. It's already screaming ALARMS at you. Your asking your question in here to find out what your heart is screaming at you and that's great. If you stay with him you'll always have that question in the back of your mind? And that question will only pound your head more if you were to ever have children with him or are watching other kids around him. Please don't consider it an isolated thing from childhood protect yourself and others. Start running now and don't look back. Good Luck and I'm sorry that you had to receive such news about the person you care about.

Answer 29

Not really he may not be a pedophile. The problem with young children who are molested they think that is the way people treat others. When becoming an adolescent and the sexual urges are there the child does what they were taught. Not all children become adult pedophiles. The children just do not know how to express themselves after and mostly believe its normal.

Answer 30

Well, leaving would be quite insensitive of you, dont you think? Why let the past cloud ur future? As a teen, I cannot properly understand what you are going through right now, but let me just tell you something, " Why think about the past, when you have the future within your reach?"

Has he been good to you?

U knew what u were getting when u decided to have a serious relationship with him. I also think it was not right for him to keep this vital piece of information from you, so i do think indeed that you should have a serious talk with him and straighten things out.

If you do leave, you might be making a mistake which you might greatly regret in the future.

If u love him and he loves you, dont worry, you can both work this out one way or another.

Good Luck and I hope I helped!

Answer 31

I can't say run, he was only 13 years old. I would have a long talk and seek counseling together. This is very sad to read about. If he was molested at such a young age and then did it at 13 how does that get considered as molestation when he is a child himself? he wasn't even an adult. I would be very careful and seek professional help but I can't say to throw him to the dogs either I think that would be heartless especially what he went thru. Also was this information he shared with you? Or did you find out on your own?

Answer 32

18-25 is good for me, i'm 22 i find most girls are at their most attractive stage at 19 years old you know i find your question to be really offensive, you've basically just claimed that i must be a pedophile just because I'm a man. the idea of having sex with a child is completely repulsive to me.i define a child as anyone under the age of 16, but even so 16-18 year old is not really acceptable, but some are mentally mature enough to be treated as adults. pedophilia is a serious problem and my opinion is that all pedophiles should receive the death penalty because it is THE WORST perversion, it's disgusting and scars those poor children for life. please do not think all men are like that we are not

Answer 33

Well he isnt a paedophile technically

He was molested from 8-12 so he was raised believing this behaviour was acceptable at age 13. He was still a child when all this went on and a paedophophile is an adult who has sexual desires on a minor. As he spent the rest of his childhood recieving help he may have had the help he need s to become a normal member of society.you dont really say what hes like now in your question but it sounds like he has been through hell in his family.

Would he have touched his cousins if he himself had not been molested . highly unlikley

What he did when he was 13 was sick and wrong but he told you so he knows that.

I just feel bad for the guy and his cousins

Answer 34

It doesnt make him a pedophile because he made a mistake when he was younger. And especially if it happened to him he probably did it as a way of acting out. A lot of times when people are molested they get angry and they try to cause the pain that they have to be someone elses pain and the only way they know how to do it is to do what was done to them. My brother molested me and my sister for a few years when we were younger. And now he is a changed man and one of my best friends. So it all depends on the way he acts now and how he feels about what he did and if he learned anything from it.

Answer 35

If no issues currently he's probably matured. Is it a fact that he molested his cousins? Did he tell you directly? How does he act towards his children? Any reason to suspect anything wierd? How does he treat you? All these questions need answers only you can give. If it's all just rumours and he's the greatest guy in the world, put the skeleton back in the closet!

Answer 36

Wow, there are some pretty judgmental responses here. He was victimized and when his hormones start peaking he responds by hurting someone else. He learned this behavior, that does not make him a monster. I imagine he was confused about sex and these new desires.He may not have had a supportive or involved family to help guide him through the healing process and puberty. Keep in mind that this happened almost 20 years ago. Have there been any other incidents? I would caution you about having children with him, it may be temptation. On the other hand he may end up a fiercely protective father. If you care for him and want to pursue a long term relationship I would encourage therapy, individually and as a couple. To put your mind at ease and to ensure his mental health. I was abused by a neighbor that was victimized by their brother. It's a vicious circle that CAN be broken. I wish you great wisdom and intuition.

Answer 37

You have been in a serious relationship with this man for two years, two whole years and he only just told you this - or you found out another way. He's good at keeping secrets, I wouldn't trust him again.



It's very sad but sometimes the damage done is done for good. Some people have little hurts you can fix, but some are best left alone. If you do not want to say you are leaving because of his past, say you are leaving because he lied to you.



I would not be able to trust him again. When he was the victim, I would have felt sorry for him and loved him more to make up for it, but when he crossed the line and became the abuser, something changed.



Sometimes a line crossed stays crossed forever. How would you forgive yourself if you walked in one night and found him doing something he shouldn't be with a child you and he had?

Answer 38

It never ceases to amaze me how stupid the people on this website make themselves sound. It's like they didn't even bother to read your question. You need to examine this situation very closely. First, how did you find out about all of his childhood. Did he volunteer the information, or did a third party inform you? If he told you, then he is obviously trying to be upfront about this with you. Pedophiles wouldn't do that. Secondly, since he has been out for over a dozen years, he has had plenty of opportunity to molest a child if he were a true pedophile. Have there been any complaints registered against him? Does he act appropriately around children? How does he behave socially? A true pedophile is very withdrawn and doesn't interact well with adults. Is that him? If he spent 5 years in a group home, then he had plenty of therapy, and it is truly possible that he has no pedophile tendencies. If you decide to continue to be involved with him, you need to examine your feelings carefully. Can you truly trust him? Or are you going to be jumping his case everytime he says hello to someone under the age of 18? For it to be successful, you will need to do your part. It would be a shame to mislead him and yourself, only to find out that you can't handle the knowledge of his past. I believe that the incident could be an isolated one from childhood, but I don't know the man. You do. Trust yourself, and you will know what to do.

Answer 39

yes, i very well could be related. And if he has had no incidents since, then chances are he's fine.

He was a young offender, not a pedophile, nor is he now, if we're only talking about that one youthful incident.

If he were a pedophile, he would not be able to stop and would be doing everything in his power too be near kids of whatever age "turns him on", such as applying for jobs to be near and work with kids, volunteering as coaches, most his friends or those friends he chose to make would have kids. He'd gravitate towards hanging around places to watch kids, playgrounds, schools.

They choose women with kids, as gfs.

If someone is a pedophile, they can't fight the urge and it eventually takes over.

I think you'd have a suspicion, why not read up on pedophiles they all display the same behaviours, ease your consquence as well as spot any potential dangers to your kids from outsiders too.

Answer 40

I'd be scared to leave him around kids

Answer 41

It's just statistically a fact that many abused become abusers.

Answer 42

If there has been no issues I don't see a reason to run

Answer 43

i would run away if i was in this situation.

but it's your choice. if u accept him then stay.

if u dont accept him the way he is, then leave him.

how u found out about him molesting his cousins might help too.

did he tell you? or did u have to find out yourself.

good luckk!

Answer 44

Very rarely do people give up habits like that, i would leave him

Answer 45

run. don't look back.



.

Answer 46

well...if he isn't good with you ..yes run away

But if he kind with you why don't you stay with him

YOU-- have to decide because you know him very well(for 2 years)

Answer 47

Run far, far away from this guy...

Why take the chance with your children's safety at stake?

Answer 48

I know this will be hard as you probably are "in love" with him (our cross to bear, as women). Let someone else find out if he is a pedophile or not. RUN AND DON'T EVER LOOK BACK. It may not be his fault, but the facts are undeniable. He has already deceived you for 2 years by "omitting" this little fact from accounts of his life. It sounds cold, but get out now. Give him any excuse you want.

Answer 49

Hello.



Is there no Hope?



Reading some answers from iust the first page, no one seems to give people a chance. As the Master saith, "But whosoever shall deny me before men, him will I also deny before my Father which is in heaven." (Matthew 10:33)

And: "Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times? Yeshua (Iesus) saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven." (Matthew 18:21,22).

Also: "So likewise shall my heavenly Father do also unto you, if ye from your hearts forgive not every one his brother their trespasses." (18:35)





Take care and be of good cheer. Help him get through what he needs to.













There is no urge in the astrological, in the vocational, in the hereditary or the environmental which surpasses the will or determination.

-Edgar Cayce Reading Excerpt 5023-2

Answer 50

This happened 20 years ago...he was a kid then. The reason it happened was his parents didn't watch him closely enough at that time, and no, it doesn't make him a pedophile. I'm guessing his mother picked a pervert to date/shack with/marry that molested him for four years. He did what he thought was normal at the time, but he's grown and matured quite a lot from this.



Please don't hold this against him.



Edit: I'm willing to bet you have a few skeletons in your closet you are scared to tell him in case he dumps you. Tell me one child that hasn't played doctor or anything with a kid a couple years older or younger...I can't believe how stupid most posters are. He was a CHILD then, for crying out loud. And no, most people molested DO NOT molest children when they are adults. This was probably nothing more than that.

Answer 51

where is he now as far as his children are concerned, i really think you should put your mind into delving into his past a bit more, talk to his ex if she is around, also his name may be on the sexual offenders register, which will make things awkward for you in the future regards housing , bank loans, and all sorts ,even schooling. be strong

Answer 52

If you are asking you must have some doubt about him.Just be very honest with yourself about him and you will know the right answer.

Answer 53

Basically, nobody knows better than you, who he is, and what he would do.

Because you are posting, it's obvious that you are uncomfortable, and maybe you are really looking for a reason to get out of this relationship.



So get out, if that's what you really feel. There's no point wasting your time with the wrong guy - and someone you feel uncomfortable around.

But it's easy for me to give you advice, because I'm not in your circumstances. You need to search your soul for the answers as to whether you stay with him or you leave.



Reflect.



Be true to yourself.

Answer 54

that could eb a potential BAD situation. i would be VERY careful with him.

Answer 55

I would run away!

Answer 56

Yeah..... RUN AWAY.. and dont put children in his path!!!

Answer 57

It's proven that pedophiles can't be rehabilitated so I say run, otherwise you're always gonna worry in the back of your mind

Answer 58

run away and never come back this is serious and don't try to change him you can get seriously hurt or worse.

Answer 59

Your kidding , Right ?



Incest ? Child molestation ? Homosexual ? Jail ?



Every Womens dream guy !

Answer 60

That one scares the hell out of me! What if you marry and have children...will they be safe? Don't know the answer...tough call here.

Answer 61

run! why chance it? If you have children you must run! Please don't be that mother. Good luck :)

Answer 62

You need to leave...would you want to have kids with this man???

Answer 63

I feel sorry for him but its really better to be safe not sorry. You are taking a risk if you have kids with him. I wouldn't chance it; he has psychological damage for life.

Answer 64

I say run away

Answer 65

He will hurt others..again..it is a addiction to him,and mentally

disturbed ..

Answer 66

GET OUT U CANT TAKE A CHANCE WITH THAT.

Answer 67

yes hes a pedophile of course

Answer 68

Get away from him.

He needs serious help...

Answer 69

Run away and dont look back.

Answer 70

RUN AWAY are you crazy don't let your kids around him.... Why haven't you left yet?!

Answer 71

uuughhh thats scary id run away

Answer 72

I agree with "Decent Human" (first page). You know your situation better than any of us. It could very well be an isolated incident, and 13 is a very impressionable and experimental age. After his release from the childrens home, did he willingly continue therapy? Is he in therapy now? Is he open with you about his childhood? If you decide to stay with him (which only you can decide) you might want to think about going to couples therapy before you have children. Especially if this is a concern of yours. Only he can really deal with his own problems, but the second you get pregnant, it becomes your problem too.

Just something to think about.

Answer 73

okay, this is when he was 13, the question is, has he done it since? he's a grown man now, maybe he's gotten help...or maybe he hasn't...follow your heart on this one...`

Answer 74

I would maybe suggest you go to joint counseling and see what a therapist says.

Answer 75

I think you should leave, especially if you have children/ before you have children. Last year in my small hometown a story broke about these two older men. One of the men's grandson always visited him every weekend. On this certain weekend the grandson came up missing. They found him sexually molested and bashed in the back of the head and hidden under some old mattresses in an old dirty garage dead.. They believe the boy had been molested by this man for a long time before this happened. The boy was 7. Turns out this man was a convicted sex offender. Please get out of there!

Answer 76

I truly and honestly believe that he is a good man with good intentions but his past has gotten him lost somewhere. He needs to get some treatement, and I don't care how long ago this incident happened.



He needs deep treatement. If you love him help him get some help. Just so you can be sure he'll never do this to your children or his.



He wasn't born this way, he was violated as a child, and as a child, he lost his innocence, and probably the reason why he did what he did to his cousins, because that's what happened to him so it made him think it was okay to do this.

Answer 77

Are you positive there are no issues ? .. how would you know for sure - many victims do not ever tell.



You have reason for concern. If he did that when he was 13 - he is capable.



Are you aware that a pedophile's sexual desire for a child never leaves them - and is their preference ?



It's sad, but molested children - often grow up to be molestors.



If you have kids of your own - then you should think about this carefully because if something should take place with your kids -- then it would be too late to protect them.

Answer 78

well, im not sure, it really depends how much he knew as a 13 year od, i mean thats quite an old age to know what thing are wrong and what things are right, but then again, he himself had it done to him, so maybe he thought it was a normal, he might have been a little bit screwed up, obviously youre gonna be if soemthing like this happens, if nothing else has happened, since then, he may have learned by now, and just been confused before, although it could seem weird for a 13 year old to be confused about right n wrong, it happened to him too, so i can understand really. maybe, just be a bit wary, but dont judge him on it.

Answer 79

ok lets think about this for a second.we all do things when we are younger (ok so his was a little serouis) but he should not be held accountable for something he did when he was younger intill you know allllllllllllll the facts.talk to him one on one and ask him if he has had an incidents since then and if he got help in the group home.maybe you can go to a consoler together and talk about it.it might put your mind at ease. I know you must love him so im not going to say run right away cause i know that would be painful.just figure out all the facts first.best of luck!

Answer 80

Pedophiles don't mess with both sexes. That is very, very rare. I've never heard of one case where a pedophile molested boys and girls.



If you are basing who he is on something that happened a long time ago, I don't think it makes sense. If he's done something recently, then what did he do? What makes you ask this question?



Most pediphiles were molested as children, but not all molested children become pediphiles.



Best wishes to you both.

Answer 81

if he was molested and molested another around the time of his abuse, it might have been a reflection of his own abuse. If he has not hurt a child since the incident at 13, he may not be. It is totally up to you whether or not you stay. Keep in mind, you will always have the nagging in the back of your head. Good luck in your decision.

Answer 82

My suggestion to you is to stop being with this man. If being with him for 2 years of being in a serious relationship you have doubts you are not the woman for him.



Evidently you have never had a run in with the law. They can twist and write things that never happened.



This man deserves better than you.



#1 Just because a person was molested (which takes in a whole lot of stuff) it does not mean you will molest.



#2 What happened between him and his cousins you have no idea and unless it comes from his mouth you never will know the truth.



#3 7 out of 10 female children are "molested".



People are so paranoid that they would rather kill an innocent man than get the facts.

Answer 83

The negatives:

a) incarceration at 13 is not for an isolated incident of one "grope" or two.

b) This group of offenses has the highest recidivism rate of any group of offenses (repeat offenders).

c) Sorry - either yours was not a serious relationship or he has already established a pattern of lies to you. You don't have a serious relationship w/o discussing something this serious.

If you wish to do some checking - monitor PC usage - look for picture downloads, chat room activity. Check phone records. Look for any unusual medications / drugs - often used as a "lure". Check magazine subscriptions.

Conclusion - It is possible it was an isolated incident, its also possible he will not be caught again, but... this is not a habit like heroin or other drugs that have a high "cure" rate. Important issue to consider - how will you cope if he is accused of raping your sisters or best friends 4 year old and she finds out you knew his past but didn't warn her.

PS- person would NOT be subject to Megan's law (notification / restriction on housing) since crimes were before enactment and were as a Juvie.

Answer 84

This happened when he was 13. It was him acting out the abuse he had experienced. He hasn't hurt his own children and probably never will. If you're concerned about being with him, seek counseling for the both of you. For him to explore and try to somewhat overcome the trauma of his abuse, and for you to learn the warning signs that trouble may be coming. I don't think he's a pedophile. It's been 21 years since this incident, don't give up on people so easily.

Answer 85

At age 13 most males have hormones flowing through their system but don't know much about what is happening and become very curious. Yes it could be an isolated case but why not talk to him to see if he received consoling and how he feels about what happened. Listen to what he has to say before jumping to conclusions. Was/is he a paedophile or just exploring his awakening? Thirty some years ago less was known about things like this and whenever anything happened it was the custom to hide them some place. Years ago the same was true for pregnant teens. They were also sent away as they embarrassed the family. Get facts and then make an educated decision. Don't throw your relationship away over miss information.

Answer 86

As someone who has been molested as a teen I would like to say shame on everyone else who doesn't know what they are talking about. after it happens it is a really hard and confusing time He was a child himself who really was confused about what is right and wrong. Yes after someone you trust does that to you things get all mucked up for awhile. It is PROVEN that some people who recieve help do not continue the vicious circle of molesting. I work with children everyday and can't imagine ever touching them. I would never hurt a child. What he did in childhood DOES NOT make him a pedophile. Talk to him see how he feels about what happened. If he is healed he can talk about it openly with you.

Answer 87

I am married to a sex offender, we have been married for six wonder full years with two adorable girls ages 4 and 5. A majority of these men have done something horrible in their life yes, but some have been done in extreme situations. I agree that when he was thirteen and molested his eight and nine year old cousins, he was acting out at he was acted against. If he lived in a home for five years he would have gotten counseling. I know my husband had to go to group therapy for five years. Also you said that he now has three children of his own with no incidents with them, that itself should speak for itself. You have to trust yourself. Don't be afraid to talk to him about this as well, and if he is on probation or anything talk to his probation officer as well. If he is not on probation and he is not in your state database of pedophile and sex offenders he is not a pedophile. All that said if you don't trust him and feel that you should leave then by all means leave, but don't throw away a wonder full relationship on fears and criticism of other people.

Answer 88

I honestly dont think you should take the risk of being around someone like that, you never know when he might suddenly flip and do something, I feel sad for the guy but its better to be safe. I know this is gonna be hard but I have to agree with the others when they say better safe than sorry. Dont tell him why you breaking up with him, find some other excuse and get out as fast as you can and move away as far as possible.

Answer 89

When someone is abused they can do one of two things...follow down the path of their abuser and do the same to others or put the horrible experience behind them and lead a "normal" life. I would say that he might be fine considering he hadn't been abused for over 18 years but considering he did it to his cousins he is definitely at risk for repeating the offense. I wish I could say that the incident was isolated but I can't and I wouldn't trust him around children.

Answer 90

Well has he done anything to make you suspicious? Do you have any children in your home? These are questions that you need to ask yourself before you take another step. He must have said or done something for you to ask on here???? Be very cautious, you don't have to settle for just any guy, especially if there is a chance that he could hurt someone close to you. If you're planning on continuing this relationship you'd better let family know before you're allowed to keep them in your home. Has he had any counseling or professional help? Best of luck.

Answer 91

Well every person is different! I know of some people who have had this happen to them and honestly they are fine.. I read what some people wrote and that is ridiculous! Everyone has an oppurtunity to become who they want. It is true sometimes people who have had major trauma like this don't come out of it! All I have to say is you know who he is, well after being with him you know his personality. Go with your gut instint on this no one can tell you without knowing him! It is a hard decision to make, but you will make the right one. It may not be easy, good luck and I wish you both the best no matter what you decide!

Answer 92

I can't imagine that one ever truly recovers from something like that.



Even if he is doing well now, I'd be worried how he might cave under certain stresses.



Doesn't sound like he got a whole lot of psychiatric help when he needed it if he went on to do all those things in his teens.



You're right to be worried.



Do you really want to take a chance and find out?

Answer 93

My brother was molested when he was 11 years old so was my unlce when he was 9 by the same family member my brother as he got older became addicted to drugs in oder to help him he loves kids but I know he would never hurt some one My brother sees mental help my uncle has never molested his kids they where victims but they would never hurt someone else. If this men is doing this and does not see help then he will never change he has issuess so RUN!!!! If he was gulity of his thoughts then he would of dessprestly gotten some mental help.Whatch his actions it will give him away as to what he is up to so please be safe and if you can put a end to this.Take care.

Answer 94

run away as fast as you can!! Why take the chance that he will do it another time...

Answer 95

I would run and run and run....

Answer 96

There are no guarantees, but chances are you will always suspect if he will do it again. Pedophilia isn't curable from what's been reported.

Answer 97

childern who are molested as a child reinact the encounter with other childern.. I know this because my sister was molested and she, as a child would try and reinact it.

She is not a pedophile, she was just a hurt child.... childern don't know any better. If an adult is doing it to them how do they know it is wrong?.... this man shouldn't be casted out.. I would just suggest him get some help to deal with what happend to him as a child.. he couldn't help it... If you really care about him seek the help with him.

Answer 98

stay with him, he sounds like a wonderful man! have plenty children and open up a day care center in your back yard. go on a long vacation and leave him with the kids...



http://balder.org/venner.dk/homosexual-pedophile-muslim-imam.jpg

Answer 99

Run - there are too many fish in the sea!

Answer 100

I would stay away what if you too had kids ...

Answer 101

he did it when he was 13- they were 8&9- they were all kids and it was 17 years ago- a childs home isn't a prison, maybe he was in there to give him protection from his family life. After two years you should be able to trust your own instincts

Answer 102

RUN! These types are rarely rehabilitated, especially without help.

Answer 103

children who were molested do sometimes grow up to molest others themselves. this is a vicious cycle. however, in the case of your boyfriend you may need to talk to him yourself. maybe this is just an isolated incident. he was only 13 and may not have been thought better. the best thing is to talk to him about.

Answer 104

Id say run and never look back!



You see on the news peedophiles in their late 20's 30's and 40's and beyond commiting theese crimes....Why wouldnt someone who already has repeat it...he will be scarred for life.....but on the otherside he was much younger when this happened



Although could you really trust your children...the most important thing in your life with him ?

Answer 105

most likely

Answer 106

Is it worth the chance? If he is a pedophile and ends up hurting another child, maybe your child, could you ever forgive yourself?



I say NO!! No way is it worth the chance! RUN!!!!

Answer 107

Run and don't stop. Once a diddler always a diddler. Run. If he got caught for 10 events there are 100 you don't know about.

Run

Answer 108

sounds like a very dangerous situation. I would back off and run away.

Answer 109

I wouldn't run however I would become distant

Answer 110

most people that were molested do grow up to molest one or more children. you need to think about if you ever have children what could happen to them? if you really do love him you really should think about it. i would leave. it might be hard but you should leave. i really hope that you haven't had any relatives children stay the night at your house!

Answer 111

Depends how old are you?

Answer 112

I would say get out of it now. Why are you just now finding this out? There's a reason for that. He has probably thought about doing it again and maybe has done it again. There are so many children hurt in this world everyday. Please don't contribute to it by having children with him. He still needs counseling and can't never be trusted. These kind of people don't just get over it. Only sick people do these things and they take advantage of every chance to do it. There may be more victim's then you know about.

Answer 113

he is not gonna change and he is gonna do this ur children without u even knowing ur children wont tell you becuase they will love there dad and want u guys to stay together and if u guys get divorced the children will blame themselves so dont even start that mess :) (maybe it wouldve worked out if he didnt do that himself but he did )

Answer 114

Yes it does. Because if he was malested as a child then he feels as every child at the age is okay with this

Answer 115

leave now he is sick and going to do it again

Answer 116

my pedophile cousin molested me when i was 4 and he was 13. this went on till i was 8. then he stopped all of a sudden. later on in life, he got married to a gal who looks like a 12 year old (coz of height and physique) and they are happily married. i';ve forgiven my cousin coz he was just a child himself back then. now he's living a clean life. maybe pedophiles do change. you can ask him or observe his behavior around kids.

Answer 117

Don't have children with this man if you don't want to fine out the hard way. Move on because this man can not be trusted with his actions.

Answer 118

IT'S SAD BUT SOME OF THOSE WHO HAVE BEEN MOLESTED END UP MOLESTING. IF HE GOT HELP FOR IT IN HIS TEENS AND SHARED THIS WITH YOU. IT DOESN'T MEAN THAT THIS IS STILL HAPPENING IN HIS LIFE. THIS IS SOMETHING YOU CAN TALK WITH HIM FURTHER ABOUT IF HE IS WILLING. IF HE CAN SHARE THIS WITH YOU WHAT DO YOU THINK???

Answer 119

I dont think he will change



How old are you?

Answer 120

You need to get out of the relationship.

Answer 121

Victims do not always turn into pedophiles, but once a pedophile, always a pedophile.



Pedophilia is a hard habit to break and there is never an isolated incident when it involves them. Most cannot be helped with therapy and are repeat offenders. I would leave, which is easy for me to say because I'm not in the relationship. However, your question is a loaded one and I think you already know the answer, and are looking for a reasonable explanation to leave.



You realize that you could never have children with this man? You would be supplying him with more victims. He would have to stifle major compulsions not to touch them. I really don't think you should stay. I'm really sorry for your situation. :(

Answer 122

Hmmm interesting question. Generally when a child is molested it is not unusual for a child to seek out another child to molest. So, the question you have to seek is do you feel he was given or offered enough help and counseling to deal with the traumatic experience he experienced in his childhood. Monitor him for signs of a potential pedophile, research to know what to look for.

Answer 123

my dad had the very same thing happen to him and did the same to other young people just after he was molested.



I was never molested by my father neither were my brothers. I think it's definately isolated to childhood as he probably didn't know any better of the fact that it was wrong.



Talk to him about it and don't make any assumptions.

Answer 124

For what it is worth, I've known many people who were molested as kids who wouldn't EVER do that to another child. A lot of sexual abuse survivors do not admit what has happened to them because they are afraid of the kind of judgment that has been displayed here tonight on this board. Now, I'm not saying he is NOT a paedophile and I would question him very closely about his CURRENT state of mind in regard to his sexual attitude towards children and watch him closely when it comes to how he behaves around children now. That's what is important here. Also, has he ever received any counseling to deal with what happened to him, and his own perpetration of abuse as a young teenager? You have to understand that, at 13, after 4 years of abuse, this was an immature person, with delayed emotional development, with a lot of serious sexual issues surrounding power, control, shame, guilt, anger, etc. who acted out his own stuff with other younger children, as had been done to him. No, it wasn't right, at all, on any level, but neither was what happened to him. A cycle of abuse perpetuated, because no one protected him, nor helped him, nor listened, nor paid attention to the changes in behaviour he was displaying as a result of what he went through.



It is a documented FACT that boys who are abused are more likely to become paedophiles themselves if they are not counseled. Ultimately, you have got an upfront warning about him and it is up to you whether you can live with the knowledge that he may still have these tendencies within him if he has not come to terms with what happened and what he did. It is possible to have gone through what he went through and to come out the other side as an adult who is is only attracted to adults. If he has trusted you enough to admit these things, I would say that there is a greater possibility that he has healed to a degree from his earlier experiences (it is a lifelong journey and some stuff will be permanent, but not necessarily making a him a paedophile). Most paedophiles are extremely cagey and very wary of admitting anything that will mark them out as "different", however, their actions will show them up eventually. They are "odd" around children - i.e. raking kids over with their eyes when they think no one is looking, etc., paying them attention over and above adults in a room, or putting themselves in positions where they can meet them, obviously approaching them and talking to them "first", or knowing a lot about kids interests, as well as displaying controlling tendencies, stuff like that. They have a warped belief that kids are seductive and want sex with adults, but they are normally clever enough to realise that they have to be covert because the majority of society despises this kind of behaviour. However, they do slip up, even when trying to behave "normally". If he is a paedophile, there is no known cure. Unless he has a highly developed conscience, he will want to act on the urges. Whatever the truth of the matter, I wish you all the best.

Answer 125

Run.

Answer 126

I hate to judge people but watch for red flags. A friend of mine got married to a guy who had been molested. It really screwed him up, was caught doing the step kids, broke her heart and he had to move out of state. Everyone knew. Sad thing. I like to think people can change but they need help I believe all the time. Its like being an alcoholic and needing AA. If your serious you need to stay by his side, you know thru thick and thin but hope theres no kids involved. It could turn out to be devestating for both of you. Its your call, no one elses. Follow your heart but protect it too. I takes alot of guts to take this on, you will get redicule from others. Hope you can weather the storm. Good luck

Answer 127

It's not an isolated even related to childhood. It's the product and the cycle of abuse. When he was abused as a child, he tried to resolve his feelings of helplessness and loss of control by acting out towards someone else weaker than himself. It's what happens with many victims of sexual abuse. However, at the Children's Home he was likely mandated to have years of counseling and rehabilitation. I disagree that sexual offenders can't be rehabilated...I do not think there is scientific evidence to that degree.



Find out what type of therapy and rehabilitative services he has already had. Don't leave him alone with your children. If you feel that you can't trust him or are uncomfortable with him, then you'll have to leave. But, find out first what type of services he has had.

Answer 128

It's amazing how unforgiving our society has become! If you make a mistake you'll be ruined forever and nobody will ever want to love you! It's sick. He's obviously trusting you enough to share this most horrible part of his life and you want to just kick him to the curb? And all the people on here who advice you to do it? It's sick! You should talk to him, find out where he is on this and if you love him you can get through it together. He's probably feeling so vulnerable right now after telling you. Try at least to understand where it comes from. He was acting on something that he was taught to do. He got help. He doesn't need judgement from you, he need understanding!

Answer 129

It sounds like an incident that was isolated from his childhood. If he did that only one year after being molested, it is probably because that molester screwed with his head and he did what he knew.



I would really talk and pear into him. Do a criminal check on him. He may really be recovered from the abuse he suffered but be sure to guard yourself.

Answer 130

Well, once a pedophile, always a pedophile. Although he is may not be actively molesting children does not mean that he does not have the tendency to do so again. This is something that is difficult to overcome and I would be very cautious. Personally, if it were me I would get out.

Answer 131

I would suggest you maybe make a list of any "red flags" and really take a look at your current situation. Typically unless there is intense counceling, a sexual predator always is just that, a predator. In no way am I judging your situation or the man that you are speaking of, but as women we tend to ignore the signs because love will make us blind. You know what you need to do or I dont think you would have posted this question...

Answer 132

Personally having been through something like this i would say just stay and ask him straight. If he seems genuine then fair enough. After all he was just 13 he has grown up now. He has told u and u should be happy he didnt have to tell u. apreciate that he has. Move on from it and forget it. thats the past, your now in the present and you have the whole future ahead of u. good luck in what ever choice u make.

Answer 133

I don't know...this is surely touchy. He may have kept the information from you because he is sensitive about it. But, if your relationship is serious, and after 2 years, I would agree, you need to seek counseling, couple counseling perhaps, but certainly for him.



The past has demons that may affect him down the line. Do you want to run away? Are you looking for a way out? This could be the difining moment for the both of you.



I don't evny you.

Answer 134

I would just go the other way.



Factoid: Pedophiles have hundreds of victims in their whole life not just the one or two that we hear about. Pedophelia is also not an isolated incident type of thing. It is a reoccurring thing that without proper attention and psycheatric help will never be managed.

Answer 135

Wow, This is another tough one, but, I guess the first thing that comes to my mins is, you most have some doubt in your mind and that's why your here asking this kind of question. Next, How long have you known about this, if a long time and have not done anything and now you are here asking, I would say something tripped your female intuition, Right, my answer is I would "STOP SEEING THIS PERSON ASAP." I feel you are way in over your head....just my opinion....

Answer 136

I would run fast and far away! Studies prove that (I am not sure of the % but it is high) most pedophiles and child molesters were molested themselves. He probably would if given the opportunity do something again.

Answer 137

Do you ever want to have children?

If the answer is yes then get away from this man now. If he molested his cousins what makes you think he wouldn't your own children?

Even if you don't want to have children I still don't recommend staying with someone like that unless you can handle some serious mental problems that come with it. He is going to have them - if he doesn't have them already.

Answer 138

Me , I would run far far away . If he was molested and did not get therapy and then he molested children before , then the chances are that he will repeat the act again . These events you described are the ones you know about , how many more out there has he gotten away with and just fueled his desire to molest .

Answer 139

It's not unusual for a child who has been molested to molest at least once. It's less about sex than it is about control, anger, and not really understanding that it is wrong..since it was done to them.



Most pedophiles are gender specific. They only like little boys....or little girls...very rarely is it both. So, it leads me to guess that he wasn't a pedophile..he was acting out what was done to him.



If he told you all this, you need to sit down and have an honest talk with him..and ask if he got therapy...how he feels about it all... If he's told you all this, he's being honest with you. You need to trust him and have faith..and if that means you need to ask questions to reassure yourself, then do so.



Just remember, you've been with him two years and what was done to him as a child should not make you distrust him.

Answer 140

Rule of thumb: If you ever have to ask that questions, your odds aren't great.



But! It could have been an isolated incident, but sadly, the only possible way to know for sure if he was a pedophile is for him to commit the crime. Hence, I would run away. I might not be sure, but I'm not sure I'd stick around to find out.

Answer 141

Please don't walk... Run! I have a relative and he molested a cousin when she was a child and he was a teen.

He has always been verbally abusive and on rare occassion physically as well. Molesters are very troubled, violent people and if you don't leave he WILL abuse you or make you dependent on him mentally.

Don't stick around - leave now and don't tell him why no matter how much he tries to talk you into staying because he'll have someone else to replace you much sooner than you think!!!

Answer 142

he has 3 kids already and no issues!! he was a child when he acted out not an adult, that was over 20 years ago. and at 13 he was still dealing with alot of issues over his molestation and acting in a way he thought was right. don't just toss him to the side over something that happened when he was a kid. talk to him about it.

Answer 143

Why would you even ask this question? You already know the answer! YES HE'S A PEDOPHILE, idiot what is it going to take for you to see that? him hurting a child while he's with you/ possible one of yours.Once a molester always a molester.

Answer 144

RUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN

Answer 145

Run , pedophiles cannot be trusted alone with a child. It is something they get a thrill out of just like a man and a woman.Only a childs innocents has something that they desire. Just like a man and a woman desire each other. Please If you have children, don"t put them through what may take the rest of their life to get over, I should know.

Answer 146

RUN.



are you honestly gonna have kids with this sickko?

What are you gonna think of him after he rapes or molests your kids?



think about it.

get smart.

Answer 147

yea i would run as fast as my feet would take me. don't put yourself or others in his reach. who knows what he is capable of or maybe he isn't. it's just sad that the pig who took his innocence when he was so young is the one who is at fault. had your friend not been molested there is no telling what his life could have been like otherwise. good luck to you..

Answer 148

u need help

Answer 149

He could have been experimenting. I'd find out if he'd done anything SINCE being 13. He was a child, I don't think he did it with the same intent that someone his age now would.

If you've been with him 2 years, you should know if you can trust him.Do you trust he hasn't done anything else?

Answer 150

Usually people molested as children will go out an molest again. talk to him about it or be careful..shoot run if you want lol.

Answer 151

Past Behavior is a GOOD Predictor of Future Behavior.

Answer 152

You need to ask him if hes had counseling. if not get him some, it doesnt mean you need to run away. Just tell him that you want him to be better and kids to be safe. Do you trust him?

Answer 153

RUN! TO A LAND FAR FAR AWAY!!

TAKE THE KIDS THEN SUE HIM FOR ALL HE'S GOT.

TAKE THE HOUSE TOO.

lolololol.

Answer 154

if he hid this past problem for you I would say yes. if he had changed and really in love with you he would of told you about past and what a mistake it was not hid it. in my opinion. and just because he has never had an issue with his own kids does not mean he has not touch other kids who have never told anyone from fear or embarrassment. I would seriously think twice. as a nurse I would tell you sexual abuse usually repeats itself.

Answer 155

he was 13? i feel that his actions then were as a result of being molested. he was a child himself. i am outraged that so many people did not take that into account when they answered you. oh my god, people who say run don't get it. to me it depends on how you found out, and what he is like now. you need to know absolutely everything about this entire situation before making a decision. Above all follow your instincts. God bless ♡

Answer 156

it depends ..... was he forced or influenced to molest the cousins...... i mean you cant hold it against him if he was forced .........but if he wasnt forced to do it then i would be very wary because you never know whether or not he has completely progressed from that or not

Answer 157

People do change. how did you find out all that history of his?By the way, people who grow up in childrens home need extra love and guidance. Do not judge.Be good.

Answer 158

why dont you ask him if he has a mental problem? Ask him what his thoughts are about sex and children. find out if he is not over his problems yet. then if he is break up you cant ever have kids with him.

Answer 159

leave him

Answer 160

Yes. He is a pedophile and you better be careful.

Answer 161

Wow some of these answers are horrible..."its common for 13 years old to act out like that." Have sex with 8 and 9 years boys and girls? Where were you brought up?



Sorry, but there's no future w/this person. Yes you should find someone else to be in love with. Yes, run!

Answer 162

Run away!

Answer 163

run. run far far far far far far far far far far away.

Answer 164

love is blind and you're about to smack yourself into the wall soon if you stay with this beast of a person who's low as the stain in the toilet.......these animals don't change and they love the hurting and taking of children. but i can tell you are asking because you feel passionate about this scum. then all you can do is put hidden cameras to make sure he is not doing anything.......take him to place where there are kids running around and pay close attention to his eyes......if you see him all nervous and looking at the kids all sensual then you know this piece of crap hasn't change a bit. also put on shows like sesame street and leave him alone to see what he does as those kids are dancing and being all cute on the TV. if you find him masturbating to that then you got a sick puppy there...........in the end i suggest shooting him and then burning his carcass to make sure all the kids in the world are safe from this demon.

Answer 165

only run if he does it again because you never know what if you leave him and hes actually a great guy then youll regret leaving him. i think it was because of his childhood! good luck i hope you take my advise!

Answer 166

For gods sake get out of that relationship right now. If you even had to ask the question, you already knew the answer. You can't cure pedophiles. It is a sickness. Now pick up your **** and move on.

Answer 167

Just keep a watchful eye on him!

Answer 168

Man, this is serious. Did he tell you about his abuse? That would tell a little, but I wouldn't be too trusting of him. I am not sure a pedophile can be cured. It is kind of illness or a sociopatic way to view how to behave toward others

Answer 169

run far away. please dont have kids around him or you are a bad mom.

Answer 170

im sorry but if you havent seen signs of things dont judge him. He didnt asked to be molested and u dont know if he had therapy for this. But u need to speak with him about it if he needs therapy stand by his side but think twice about kids.

Answer 171

Once a pedophile, always a pedophile. Do you have children? The person who molested him should have his parts removed and speaking of removal....get out now, as fast as you can!

Answer 172

if you are taking the time to ask us on yahoo, then you are thinking about it and it is a concern. because of that, run!

Answer 173

get away from this guy

Answer 174

He was 13, I don't think he needs to be continually punished for a mistake he made as a child. Maybe he should be the one doing the running, because you don't sound overly mature

Answer 175

I wouldn't trust him around my kids. Its bad enough guessing just who are the predators. You already know.

Answer 176

I would personally run away. But if you really care for him, you should try to get him some help. Maybe a little bit of therapy is all he really needs. What he did when he was 13 was a long time ago.

Answer 177

That's a tuff one.......I know someone who was molested, and they do say those that are, do molest, and he was young, so I think if you guys are open and talk about it, you will understand him and he you....maybe ask him if he needs to talk about it MORE with a DR. Dig deep, he's human. I personally, If I were you, would talk about frequently, and openly....never to be swept under any rugs!! You've been with him for 2 years, stick with him!!

Answer 178

You know the most important thing here is if he got help for that? Did he get therapy? Do you know that? Do you love him.. It's very difficult to judge on this situation because this happened to him when he was so young and it's something he did not want it was something that forced upon. Due to that abuse he felt the need to abuse those kids too. Notice he was young too.



I think you should sit down with him and ask him if he got treatment for that. Depending on his answer. You will know if he is lying or not. If he says yes then accept his answer. If he says no, suggest to him that this would be important for him to do. Even if he tells you he is ok, tell him that it's always good to do the therapy.. And that you will support him. Because that is going to be very important if you stay with him. He needs your support.

Answer 179

IN THE END YOU WILL HAVE THE FINAL DECISION ON WHAT TO DO WITH YOUR LIFE. YOUR THE ONLY PERSON WHO KNOWS IF THIS GUY IS GOING TO DO SOMETHING LIKE THIS AGIAN OR NOT WHY LISTEN TO A BUNCH OF PEOPLE ON YA THAT ARE JUST JUDGING SOMEONE BASED ON STATISTICS OF CAREER CRIMINALS REALLY THIS WAS MOST LIELY AN ISOLATED INCIDENT AND WITH IT BEING COUSINS IT APPEARS THAT THE PARENTS MAY HAVE OVERREACTED A TAD. MAKE UP YOUR OWN MIND IF YOU DO NOT TRUST HIM THEN LEAVE IF YOU THINK YOU CAN TRUST HIM THEN JUST LIVE YOUR LIFE IN ALL ACTUALITY KNOW ONE HAS THE RIGHT TO PASS JUDGEMENT THAT IS GOD'S WILL.





YOU MAKE THE CHOICE YOU KNOW HIM BEST.

Answer 180

look even if you stay with the guy because you love him, know this will always stay in the back of your mind. Seriously how could you live with yourself if you already knew of his past, then had children with him and he molested them? You wouldn't be able to, any normal person wouldn't be able to handle it. kids come first. i would get out while you can, it's going to be hard at first but it will benifit you in the end. trust me. Good luck and find someone with maybe a clean record.

Answer 181

I would probably end the relationship if you have children or are uncomfortable. It seems like he has a lot of issues and if they are unresolved than you may be facing some problems. Talk to him and find out what really happened. Only you can make this decision.

Answer 182

Run away...far far away. My husband works with many children like this. They do not get put in "homes" they get put in live in juvenile detention centers....some of which are run like a prison. These types of people are repeat offenders. You need to run like Hell and keep any children you know away from him. Frankly I see no reason for this man to be walking the streets.

Answer 183

That's really sad. It's a known fact that often when someone has been molested, they do it to others as well.

I really don't know if it could be isolated to childhood or not.

But I guess you have to think of safety - as in if you ever had kids together, would they be safe?

This is a really tough one. Did he volunteer that information to you, or did you hear it from someone else?

I think you need to follow your gut instinct here.

Answer 184

that is a hard one, you've invested time and emotion into this relationship. the thing is, do you have kids? if so leave and have your children checked out. if not how far do you expect this relationship to go? marriage? what if you get pregnant by him? you would never be able to brings kids around him and feel comfortable. so I'd have to say just leave him alone and wish him the best and hopes he is over this sickness that he has.

Answer 185

Usually that type of behavior is in grained in a person's psyche. He probably has alot of sexual issues. I would be very concerned. If I were in this situation, I would move on, but that is just me. If you have children of your own, I would definitely run! Men like that like to prey on unmarried women with children to gain access to their kids.

What you need to ask yourself is what will you do if you get married and have children with this man? Will you feel comfortable having him around the baby anone? What about when your child becomes elementary school age? If you feel the slightest but skeptical, then move on.

Answer 186

This is definitely reason for concern. Hopefully he's gotten some serious counseling. I believe that all people can get over past issues. However, it takes a lot of determination and will power. I say...proceed with caution!

Answer 187

I imagine it is different for each individual.



Pedophile comes from pedophilia which means "sexual perversion in which children are the preferred sexual object" according to webster's dictionary.



So in this case, I would say yes he is/was a pedophile. I hope that you are of age of consent and that you think seriously about this issue.

Answer 188

RUN...run hard and run fast...

Answer 189

Make like a rocket and blast off!

Answer 190

Ok I am sorry.But it seems this guy has a problem.And u know in the back of your mind u will always wonder,will he do it again!

Answer 191

Doesn't sound good to me

Answer 192

run

Answer 193

They say it is something that can't be cured. How do his kids act when they are around him? Do any of their friends seem a little odd when he is about. If it happened when he was older he would have to register. I would be nervous, not for myself, but for children in the neighborhood, or my own!

Answer 194

RUN AWAY!

Answer 195

well i don't really think that this is safe for your children but it probably it wasn't easy for him to go through that good luck and take care

Answer 196

i mean he may have learned but please just be careful. some people can change but you never know. just talk to him and see where his head is i mean if he was thirteen then than you don't know why he did it maybe whoevevr molested him made him do it someone else.

Answer 197

RUN AWAY! if he's done it once chances are he's capable of doing it again...you dont want to take that kind of risk.

Answer 198

I would steer clear. You have no idea whether or not he still has those urges, even if he says he doesn't you can't take his word for it. Normally though, if they repeat the pattern of abuse they don't stop.

Answer 199

It depends on, if he has overcome what he had done to him. It also depends, if he can let young kids be. Peace!

Answer 200

of course run forest run

Answer 201

What a hot issue this one is, more than two hundred answers,not all of them very wise,

or very helpful, just very critical,scared,

panic,ridden, or just hateful.

I noticed that you said he has three children

from a previous relationship,no problem there, so that is were you have to start,talk to his ex wife,see how he is around his children,or more important how they are around him,he could be a man ridden with guilt,for as an adult he must know, that what he did at thirteen was not acceptable,

pedophiles are not very good at sexual relationships with adults,is your sexual relationship with him excellent, very good,just good,that would be a good way to measure what is going on,good luck

Answer 202

Well he could be and you don't even know it. But just maybe he has been rehabitated or not only time will tell. You need to keep a watchfull eye on him.

Answer 203

If he hasn't had a great deal of counseling, I'd leave. It's not uncommon for victims of abuse to abuse those around them in an attempt to get some of their lost power back. If he's made progress in dealing with his issues, don't bail on him. Go to SA 12 step meetings with him. Be a support. Go see a counselor and get their advice.

Answer 204

run far away

if he has all those bad records on him he could do it again...

you dont want to take your chances

Answer 205

ew run away from him!

Answer 206

Get out of their as fast as you can go. Don't look back, keep going.

Answer 207

no run there is no reason to do that to a child what if you had a kid with him and he did it to your kid be smart and leave!!!! good luck

Answer 208

I would RUN! How could you ever trust him if you two choose to have children? RUN

Answer 209

break out quick and dont leave any kids with him

Answer 210

i would run away. he molested kids! and at 13 you already know what you are doing. go away. and if you have children, go far away!

Answer 211

run for the hills woman

Answer 212

It's not worth the risk.

Answer 213

my question would be did he REALLY molest his cousins or did he get caught fooling around with them? my best friend went through that she was 8 and her nieghboor/ best friend was only six, the nieghboors mom walked in and they were messing around out of curiosity...;. next thing you know my friends in court for raping her friend and was put on probation for 3 years... it's really your call, and go with your gut. OR you could call the cousins and find out for yourself.

Answer 214

I would say put him into counselling

Answer 215

It would be hard not to be suspicious, but if he is the one that told you, that shows that he trusts you. At 13 you are still a child, and an abused child is liable to make bad decisions. hopefully he got the help he needed and is healthy now.

Answer 216

STAY unless you are worried that he is not honest with you. I am sure he has had counseling and what he did was a result of what was done to him, before he understood the ramifications of his actions.I think I would though be careful not to put him in a position where his past would put him in position to be accused of anything with a minor. you did not say if he is required to register as a sex offender . that to would reflect on you. Good Luck

Answer 217

its a vicious cycle but it can be fixed...... tell him you want him to get professional help before you continue the relationship

Answer 218

wow run, run, run!!!!!! He's a Pedophile for life... Sorry but please leave him studies prove pedophiles cannot be rehabilitated...

Answer 219

hey he was 13 and he was himself being sexually assaulted beofre that i am sure that at that age and being sexually abused he thought that this was a way to show affection and i dont think that he should be punished for it even then never mind now, i am sure that the first time he didnt get the help he needed and i am sure after that incident he did, so i say i you like him stay with him, but if it bothers you much then dont stay with him so the only one that can answer your problem is you

Answer 220

Ginny,

You have to end this here, and now. A molester doesn't know right from wrong. You could be his next victim. Run away from this situation, and don't look back.

Answer 221

Why are you even asking this question? Why are you punishing yourself by dating this freak? DUMP HIM! He is filled to the gills with issues that a lifetime of therapy would not heal. Come on, girl, you are worth more than this. There are thousands of normal men in the world. You should never have to worry about what you are worrying about. That is a major red flag to RUN, don't walk, from this relationship.

Answer 222

Trust me here. This is not about him or his feelings. This is all about you and the well being of your family. I f you do not have kids yet....still consider distancing yourself from him. Eventhough, it is not his fault getting molested when he was a child.... the fact that he acted out on his cousins is very disturbing. Most definately if there are kids in the home do not let that man get close to them ....he could possibly even cause harm to you or even himself. Leave him alone. please.

Answer 223

Go with your heart.At 13 he was not an adult and was acting out what had happend to him only slightly earlier.Talk to him about your concerns,be open and honest about them to him and ask him if he ever has any thoughts/fantasies of a sexual nature towards children.Then trust your instinct when he answers.Go to counselling with him or by yourself if you really love this person and have doubts.

Answer 224

It's too bad you can't find out for sure if he has a criminal record as an adult. I would also tell you to run away, but what about the next woman he dates, she will be unaware of it all, so its solved for you, yeah, but it don't solve the problem for women and kids in the future :(

Answer 225

Get the **** away from this guy, especially if you have kids, Most likely he's been molesting children while he's been in a relationship with you. Why the **** are you still with him? RUN!!!!

Answer 226

i think it could be both, he was molested as a child and he experimented on someone smaller than him, b/c he wanted to take out the same feelings/anger on someone else,also i do think that you shouldn;t get seriously involved with him, he needs alot of help, and i don't think it'll be good that u get seriously involved with him, until those issues are seriously dealt with!Hope i have helped at all.

Answer 227

Has he confronted the issue and helped himself with any counseling or is he just expecting it to disappear? If he is not helping himself, there is nothing you can do so you should bolt. If he is in counseling and dealing with it you may want to be involved in the counseling with him so you can ask some hard questions to the counselor about the severity of his sickness.

Answer 228

Wow!!! I could understand why you should feel a little paronoid. Give him a chance because he could have changed and became a better person. But at the same time watch him for signs. Good Luck to you!!!!

Answer 229

yes

Answer 230

It could be, or not. I'd run just in case. There are millions of men out there without that risk factor.

Answer 231

IF THESE RELATIONSHIP IS SERIOUS HE NEEDS HELP EVEN IF HE WAS YOUNG BUT HE HAS ALOT OF ISSUES THAT'S NEEDS TO BE HANDLED EVERYONE DESERVES A SECOND CHANCE

Answer 232

Scary...It would be difficult to trust that he isn't molesting children. Are you sure?????

Answer 233

I would run.

Answer 234

Stay away. Leopards don't lose their stripes.

Answer 235

RUN!

RUN!

RUN!!!

Answer 236

dang thats a hard one well you should not judge just yet wait intill he show any signs of enjoying childrens company to much then you need to have a talk with and tell him that you will have no issues reporting him to cops



sicko

Answer 237

give it a long try. it could b related an flashbacks of his childhood. u don't wanna leave him n he's not doing anything now.

Answer 238

Yeah he is. And yes, you should run away.

Answer 239

Anything other then 21 years ago then run.

Answer 240

run unless you want to go on dr.phil !

Answer 241

I think that the reason that he "molested" younger children than himself was because he was being absed. It is normal for a chld being sexually abused to act out sexually. He may still have issues related to his sex tramua, but he may not as well.

Answer 242

That's creepy. But how old are you? I mean, if you're like about 13, then he sure is a pedophile. If you're the same age then i don't know.

Answer 243

You have to ask? Run!!!

Answer 244

ummmmmcall the cops now !!!!!!! honey please tellyour parents

Answer 245

You've been with him 2 yrs now, so why would you run from him now, especially since no one has accused him of this crime while you two are together??

Answer 246

Well he did that when he was 13 maybe he know that it's wrong now and wouldn't do that anymore. It's your choice to run away or stay. Try to see what kinda person he is.. if there are signs that he could still be like that... RUN AWAYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 247

RUN! You do not want to continue your relationship with this man, just imagine bringing children into the situation, very- very scary.

Answer 248

Pedophiles don't become cured. They are what they are.

Answer 249

yes

Answer 250

these people always have the thoughts, mind control isn't in pill form yet so he's not be treated, RUN ***** RUN!!!!!!!

Answer 251

umm i think i would have to move on and find somebody else if i were u :/!

Answer 252

Yes, he is a Pedophile. Yes you should run away. No, this was probably not an isolated incident.

Answer 253

Better to be safe: run away.

Answer 254

You should check with local authorities to see if he has to register as a sex offender. An please take a step back and realize that a large majority of abused children become abusers.Some have severe mental and social issues because of their abuse. I hate to be harsh but i would not be comfortable saying stick it out until you see something. I was in a similar situation years ago.The abuse wasn't documented but he showed real signs of sexual problems. Get answers from a professional just call someone in your area that deals with child abuse..and follow what they say...

Answer 255

RUN LIKE THE WIND!



This is just a chance I would not take...HUGE deal breaker for a relationship with him!



XXXXX

Answer 256

Get your skates on girl

Answer 257

Definitely - why get any more involved with this man than youhave?

Answer 258

talk to him about it. and find out if he is a changed man

Answer 259

Relax, Everyone makes mistakes, I know for a fact.



If he shows no signs.. well aggression and what not then I doubt you have anything to worry about.



Hopefully he told you about it.



If he did, He trusts you.



After all, you said a serious relationship, You must love him.

Answer 260

i wouldnt just up and leave because of his past, that would be a selfish thing for you to do. i would stick around and be cautious. Dont leave him because of his past, everyone has things in there past that they dont like, but they realize they cant change them and to try to is a waste of time. but they can change there future and maybe thats what he is doing. i would talk to him about it, talk to him about your concerns be open and honest, dont just run away because one what if your wrong and you do leave him, not only did you just lose 2 yrs of your life but you lost an amazing person and relationship, and two that would completly make him feel like its his fault and that he is a bad person. dont punish him for his past, people change, you just have to give them an honest chance.

Answer 261

I would get out of that situation fast... perophiles cannot be rehabilitated or changed

Answer 262

Run, Run Run. Do not continue a relationship with person or have children with him.

Answer 263

go. run. fast. far.........

Answer 264

i would go to the police

talking to him beforehand would be very dangerous

mabey once your out of the house and driving in the car call him and talk to him and if he makes no sense and seems angry and mad go to the police asap!!

Answer 265

get out while you still can

Answer 266

I wouldn't take the chance. Especially if you ever want kids. If anything happened to them, you'd never forgive yourself.

Answer 267

holy hell. run FAR FAR AWAY. and call the cops. u never know. he could go out with girls and molest or rape them. my dad used 2 be a cop so i learned a lot from him. run away. run away.

Answer 268

Run as far as you can. Of course he is a pedophile. You need to get out asap.

Answer 269

Stay away and run

Answer 270

dude people do weird things when their kids, he probably just grew out of it i mean he is 30 probably knows right from wrong and u have been with him for 2 years so you should know who he is

Answer 271

Why take the chance?

Answer 272

Run



There are few things that the socialogists don't feel like they can cure is pedopila. If he did it once the potential is much higher for him to repeat.



Do not be so needy that you have to have this thing. And don't cop out with that "I love him." line because if you "love" this you don't love yourself and so it is a farce.



GOOD LUCK

Answer 273

Ouch!!!. Not sure what to say. Is he doing anything now that would make yo think he is doing something wrong? Everyone changes and if we all acted like we did as teenagers we would all be in jail.

Answer 274

It depends. If you are both adults then you know him better and he did that once when he was young. We really don't know him. Does he display any strange behaviors?



You really didn't mention your age so if you are 8 years, then you need to leave him.

Answer 275

run run run run!!!!





RAPIST ALERT!!

Answer 276

Run away from him. He's sick in his head.

Answer 277

You should really make an appointment for you and he to see a therapist. Honestly, let an outsider look in and evaluate the WHOLE situation. Get a professional opinion, at the very least for yourself and your well-being.

Answer 278

Beware. Does he have strong sexual urges? A perverted mind is a dangerous mind. I would find someone without this kind of past, it would be more safe. Especially if you plan on having your own kids. You could be walking into a nightmare.

Answer 279

if it looks like a duck

quacks like a duck

Answer 280

he sounds dangerous...

Answer 281

Call the cops and fly away at Warp speed.

Answer 282

Run away quick.

Answer 283

You should both see a therapst together and talk it out

Answer 284

I'd reject him because people who are abused tend to be abusers as adults.

Answer 285

Uhm yeah, and esp if you have kids

Answer 286

hahaha dump him you dont wanna get raped!

Answer 287

No dont run away you should chop it off him.Hes a perv.

Answer 288

run away!

Answer 289

if he could do that at 13, his mind is probably way more unstable. Get the H ell out of there! FAst

Answer 290

yeah id say dont even bother , something like that is like a wolfs instinct to hunt , to them its normal and instinct its horrid and disqusting what if you have children or had ? and imagene one of them coming up to you "mommy why is daddy touching my no no spot "? then you have to explain it was wrong mean while she or he was told its right , youd ruin your life and tramatize the children im not trying to sound mean but its what could happin hun !!! get awau from him and stay away report him to the police and put a restraining order if your worried

goodluck hun !!!

Answer 291

Cut your losses and run.

Answer 292

Get away and do not have children with this man!

Answer 293

more likley this guy wass a pedophile!

who knows if he still is!

that childrens home probbaly helped him but i honestly think giving him a chance would be good.

first sign of being a pedophile runn!!!! lol

Answer 294

If he doesn't have any other convictions or allegations, I would say it was a childhood thing. What kid hasn't played "doctor" on a friend. We are all interested at about that age.

Answer 295

well if you want kids i probably wouldnt suggest staying around someone like this.



not every person who is molested goes on to molest.



chances are given the opportunity he may act on his impulses.

Answer 296

Ok.... I'm gonna say that what he did is stimulating from his own abuse. Not his fault. BUT.......I still wouldn't get into a relationship with this man. Yes, you should run far away.

Answer 297

Please tell me you already know the answer to this question....sorry to say a "normal" child does not molest his younger cousins. Did he recieve counseling? Did he tell you he made mistakes and would never do something like that again...this sounds like a very deep problem that he most definitly needs professional help with...Are you alot younger than he and PLEASE tell me you dont leave your children (if any) with him!

Answer 298

Run don't pass go, get out .

Answer 299

Yeah he's dangerous

Answer 300

i would run because you dont know what he would do if yall had kids or something.

Answer 301

Run away as fast as you can.