Do I have a right to be upset when my wife yells at me for something that's not my fault?

Question

I was driving my wife and I home from a family dinner-party we attended. She was exhausted and she went to sleep. Midway home, I realized that I wasn't completely sure about the way home and so I used the GPS.

The GPS woke her up and she started yelling at me to turn down the volume of the GPS. I told her I didn't know how and she threw some insult at me that resembled something along the lines of "You don't know anything. You're so ineffective."

She went back to sleep and I turned off the GPS because, as I already stated, I don't know how to mute the GPS. I got lost and tried to find the right way, but couldn't. I turned back on the GPS which woke my wife up and she started yelling at me again for getting lost. She told me that I should have just used the GPS.

Now I get upset because that was what I was TRYING to do before she started yelling at me to turn off the GPS. It was as if she thought that I had purposely put the GPS volume to the maximum just to annoy her.

We eventually make our way home and then she starts a conversation. She just yelled at me for something that was NOT my fault and then she wants to be friendly? I was so annoyed at her to the point where if I said anything to her, it would most likely be hurtful words. So I didn't say anything and then she starts yelling at me AGAIN for "being moody". Is that not ironic coming from her? She says some stuff about how I'm being over-sensitive and how she was just "in a frustrated mood" and all that.

I'm very confused right now because my wife and I usually get along very well; we rarely say hurtful things to each other even when we're stressed. I don't know how to feel - half of me wants to make up and forgive her but the other half of me is still very angry at her. Advice please? Thank you.

Answer 1

You didn't mention if she was drinking.



Drinking + tired/lack of sleep = anger.

Answer 2

Give yourself a bit of time to calm down, then talk to her about it calmly. Acknowledge that this is a very stupid thing to be fighting over, which is why you want to understand how it became an issue in the first place, let alone one that would make her hurt you in a very uncharacteristic fashion. Tell her how the contradictions made you feel, but give her a chance to explain what was causing her mood. (Was it something that happened at dinner? Is she not getting enough sleep? Did you do something else to annoy her unintentionally that she hasn't told you about, and she just couldn't keep it in any more?)



Oh, and next time, if you need the GPS, just leave it on. (But take a look at how to mute it before you leave the house again.)

Answer 3

u be glad she didn't kill and mutilate and dump u right there in the middle of nowhere where u got lost. i mean u re a man, right? what kind a man doesn't know how to mute the freaking gps? what re u -a retard? i totally agree with her - u re useless. i would yell at my man too. any woman would. fortunately he knows how to use electronics and never gets lost. men re supposed to be stronger, smarter, make more money and be protectors and taking care of everything. u failed. she was upset she has a loser for a man

Answer 4

I started getting upset with my husband about something stupid, because I was upset about something else, just the other day. He turned around and looked at me and said, "I'm not the one your pissed at so don't take it out on me." It shut me up and he was right. So, she vented to you because you are her husband. We do that occasionally, even in the most happiest of marriages. I'm sure she feels bad about it and would just rather move on.

Answer 5

If something like that happens again stop, call her a cab and drive home alone in peace.

Answer 6

i'm sorry. some days you will be the fly, and some days you will be the windshield.



today you were the fly.