One parents an alcoholic other wants a divorce... story inside (POST CONTINUED FROM A FEW MINUTES AGO)

Question

Warning you now.. the post is really long, but I'm seriously looking for help here. So please someone take the time. Thank you to all who take the time. I appreciate your time and your thoughts on my problem at hand. Thank you again, - mica

This is the 2nd post im making and I'm hoping most people that read my first one you return here and talk a little more with me. First of all I'm sort of new to this site and don't know how to personally contact people via like Private messages, so please someone talk to me on AIM upon reading this long post. my sn is WrstLLanc for anyone who would like to talk further more. I hate reading your posts and not being able to respond/talk back to you.

Don't read this next long part if you read my first post. SKIP to bottom if you read my first post.

My mom wants a divorce, my dads an alcoholic.
Drinks damn near a handle of vodka a night, always puts my mom second to alcohol. He always promises her things like to take her to dinner but will come home from work around 2 or 3 and start drinking and mom doesn't want to go to dinner with a drunk(thats 1 example of hundreds).
Me and all my siblings are old enough now that having a divorce wouldn't effect us that much, the youngest child in the family is a JR in High school.
Mom doesn't want the divorce because she wants what's best for us, but all 3 of us (kids) HATE seeing her live the way she does dealing with my fking dick head dad.
What do I do? My dad wouldn't change for LITERALLY the world as far as the 4 of us are concerned (3 kids / mom). I've gotten into almost MANY fistfights with dad preventing him from doing mean things to other family members or even me.

Please someone help me with some bit of advice. My mom won't divorce because of us, and my dad won't change because he's a stupid mother fk'er. I HATE him more hours of the day then I can ever like him.

SKIP to here.....
I appreciate all your previous responses on this post
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Am.HM4QjQ9vfJlwrVmBrPrvsy6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20080731154356AAirLHj
however I don't think my mom would want to attend those sort of classes because she thinks she already knows enough. She wouldn't go to one because I don't think she could stand to invest that sort of time to try to learn to put up with someone (my dad) that she could probably careless about. Me myself, im nearing 20 years old and every night my dad drinks i feel like just knocking him the fk out. Seriously.
It old, it effects me directly, and I personally WANT to move out of the house JUST to be away from him but I always feel guilty leaving my mom/bro/sister behind to deal with my dads pathetic fking habit. We try to spend more time with him when he's sober/less when hes drinking, when he's drinking we leave him downstairs all by himself where half the nights he ends up crying and wondering why no one cares about him so he thinks. Maybe if he changed his fking behavior we would care more. He gets so drunk he can't remember a single fking thing that happened the night before.
This whole problem effects everyone in my family. I'm always depressed because I'm a very carring person (i believe so) so I'm always trying to eat less and keep my diet under control, I feel like i can't have a GF because my dads drunk more hours of the day than he's not and hes obnoxious and has said multiple VERY rude things to past girl's that have made me have a turn-off of having girls within 10 miles of my home. My brother has depression eats alot and has gained a lot of weight, my sister's behavior has increased a lot (negative behavior) and my mom just lives a terrible life. I feel like everyones relationship with one another is fake towards each other, etc,etc, this list goes fking on forever. Someone please chat with me. Please instant msg me I sit on my computer bored, lost, thinking, wondering, feeling depressed AT LEAST 2 nights a week over this for the past 5-ish years. My sn is WrstLLanc and my e-mail is [e-mail]

Thanks for taking your time to read this far and possibly respond - mica

Answer 1

My heart goes out to you. I truly understand everything you are going through. I will email you.

Answer 2

Actually its your mother that has to do something about your Dad. You and your siblings are old enough now that you soon will be out of the home. I know you must worry about your Mother but I feel she thinks she can't do anything about him or she loves him too much to make a hugh ordeal about it. He is slowly killing himself. You say you hate him but in reality you hate his drinking and the trouble it has caused, not him. He needs all of his childrens love and perhaps this could be the way to get him help. He needs too know how much his children are concerned about his health and the happyness of your Mother. Maybe checking out AAA would be a good start. If he doesn't want to get help, there is nothing you can do.

Answer 3

I know you suppose like you hate your dad. Alcoholism sucks. I was once the mom in a similar challenge and i stayed. To be honest, it commonly would have been better for the children if I had left. Hindsight is a great factor. Comprehend that your dad has a disorder. Al-Anon or Al-a-Teen would in general aid you guys loads. It is anonymous and supportive. They helped me. The end of our story is that he subsequently sobered up went to AA, but the marriage ended. He is nonetheless sober after many years and has a greater relationship with our children. I am hoping your drawback improves, Mica. God bless

Answer 4

First of all, my thoughts and prayers are with you all. I know how it is to feel helpless in a situation like yours. I have been married to a man who is an alcoholic and we have one son. I have to tell you he put us though hell with his coming home drunk or getting drunk at home and always starting fights, because he didn't like this ot that. He missed birthdays and anniversaries, school activities and family outings. After a while I was just as glad not to have him be apart of things. My son was very hurt by his fathers' actions but I quit my job, stayed home and took care of my son. The only reason I didn't leave was because I wanted to protect my son, my husband was very controlling and ,if there was a diovce, my son would have to spend vistitation with my husband, who couldn't take care of himself let alone his son. Besides my son didn't want to have much to do with his Dad.I think maybe your Mother may feel helpless and sometimes the unknown is fearful, so she stays with what she knows. My advise is to start a journel to help release some of what you are feeling. Help your Mom as much as possible. Have her find an Al-alnon meeting for herself and you kids, there is also a teen al-alnon group. Is there grandparents in the picture that you can talk to? Mica, have faith and know that someone out there is thinking of you and wishing the best for all of you. There are better days ahead for you. With Love!!!

Answer 5

I recognise you consider such as you hate your dad. Alcoholism sucks. I used to be the mother in a an identical drawback and I stayed. To be sincere, it regularly could had been bigger for the youngsters if I had left. Hindsight is a high-quality factor. Realize that your dad has a ailment. Al-Anon or Al-a-Teen could regularly aid you men plenty. It's nameless and supportive. They helped me. The finish of our tale is that he eventually sobered up went to AA, however the marriage ended. He's nonetheless sober after a long time and has a bigger courting with our children. I desire your drawback improves, Mica. God bless

Answer 6

Your mom may not be interested in Al- Anon, Mica, but try to go for yourself. It's not classes, it's support- people just like you, who have been there, who are there. It can help you to heal. It's a lifeline when you feel like you want to jump out of your skin, and things are so bad that it feels like it will never get better.

But I'm here to tell you there's hope. You just gotta take that first step.

It's scary, and it takes time, but hang in there, you'll make it.

I believe in you.

Answer 7

Find the nearest Al-anon meeting and go to it.



Once there, get a sponsor, follow his suggestions, and work the steps.

Answer 8

The question is to long